Funny Poems That'll Make Your Day & Make You Laugh

I sat with the mark, sharp and bright, Curved at the tip, a flash of light. "Why the flare?" I asked, "What’s the need, For such a wild, untamed stampede?" With a shudder, it shook, then did confide, "I bring the twist, the rising tide!" "Are you not lonely," I pondered aloud, "In sentences lost in a sea of the crowd?" It...

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You laughed too hard in 1996/ Thought I'd trip and stay down for kicks/ But I climbed back up, twice the size/ Now I shred, watch the sparks fly/ My drummer joked, said guitars are lame/ Left him roadside, questioning fame/ Why does a guitar need a case, he asked/ To contain its stringed up past/ Steel strings bend, the pick obeys/ My...

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You collect old bottle caps and belly button lint. I don't find you strange; I find you endearing. And maybe it's because we're both locked up on the top floor of a mental hospital. And you're the only other person I have to talk to. Yeah, that has to be it. ...

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Holy Slime of Spring™ Seasonal Epic -- Limited Drop A divine ooze imbued with chaotic Easter energy. Hand-delivered by a suspiciously muscular bunny and sealed in a glitter egg forged from cosmic sugar. Properties: Sparkles under moonlight Smells faintly of jellybeans, peeps, and ambition Doubles as a universal key for Easter Basket Portals™ Hums quietly when near chocolate Effects (Passive): +2 Egg Luck +1 Bunny Evasion +3...

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Get thee hence! Get thee hence! Away the riffraff from my fence Ye've rattled window and rattled doors Till there's no peace upon the moors The hallowed folk have left their graves To rid themselves these noisome knaves The tyrants peal rings through my head Till any room for thought is dead I'd rid myself this fearsome bane If I had not a limp...

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Are you feeling bad sensations Having difficulties and temptations? Then be happy, happy, happy, happy! Be happy and then you’re never bored. Always be happy, you belong to the Lord. Say God make me happy, happy, happy, happy! Seek your happiness in the LORD. Wasting time on people you can’t afford They’re not happy, happy, happy, happy! Trust in the Lord, seek...

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fine trousers wore the goblin pockets full of goblin hands fine scarf wore the goblin tucked into some goblin pants fine brogues wore the goblin laces full of goblin craft fine top hat wore the goblin brim full of goblin laugh fine waistcoat wore the goblin over the top of a goblin vest fine outdoors stood the goblin of an evening full of goblinness ...

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NO NO NO NO FEAR OF CIRO GARGANO HIS UNDESIRABLE BLACKS HE HIRES BLACKMAILS TO TORCH BUILDING FALSIFY HELL EARTH OR LIKE ME FORCED TO WEAR WIRES PREGNANT FOR THE FBI TO PROTECT MY CHILDREN BECAUSE OF YOUR FIRES OF HELL MY WEARING WIRES PREGNANT FOR THE FBI BUYING WEAPONS AND DRUGS GETTING YOUR PRISON...

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What is it about fitted sheets They don’t seem to stay fitting Is it the dryer overly drying When I pull the corners go flying It looks great for about a day Till I get in bed and it’s a waste Fighting the sheet for my fate Hugging my feet and gripping face How to fold them I’ll never know Saw it once on...

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The faithful white race MAGA troop Should look at this late-breaking scoop: Trump's "elites" agree Their face lifts to be Will ape the Chinese ethnic group...

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I cut my finger to the bone and cauterized the wound with melted chocolate. I rather enjoy the taste of pain. ...

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I strolled into Hell like a VIP/ Satan said, "what's this nonsense I see"/ "Bro, I out evil you", I smirked with glee/ Then he rage-quit chess, forfeiting to me/ God gasped, his jaw hit the floor/ "I designed Satan, what is this lore"/ I shrugged, "he misplayed the Sicilian once more"/ "Then fell for a joke about the grocery store"/ He plotted...

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It was a perfect day, a sunny golden day. I felt the gentle sweep of easy breezes, the music of the wind. It was my daily stroll around the neighborhood, my daily clarity. It was there, and then I beheld the cat, the leashed Siamese cat, prowling and smelling. A man clutched this leash, seeming absorbed, seeming preoccupied by cat rubbing and sniffing, cat...

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jam it’s sweeter than ham stickier than a dam spreadier than a ram welcomier than spam jarier than a can jellier than a plan though not drivier than a van not talkier than a man not blowier than a fan not cuddlier than a gran not crustier than a flan not detailier than a scan jam ...

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My mouth loves ice, it's all so nice, I'd hunt it down at any price. I'd suck it until my gums go numb, Chew on it, even if it breaks a tooth or two. ...

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