Best Farting Poems

When a Norwegian cow passes gas
They want to tax the gas from its ‘ass’
A cow passes 4 tonnes of methane each year
Just imagine the stink from its rear!!!!

Thanks for the inspiration Anne Lise ***

Jan Allison 
31st March 2016...

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There was a man named Fred
Who liked eating baked beans in bed
One day when he farted
He and his wife parted
'Well it's quicker than divorce' Said Fred....

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There once was a farmer called Seamus,
who had an incompetant anus.
When out on a date with girlfriend Kate,
he blamed his dog when he farted,
to prevent her being startled....

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 I’ve perfected the art
Of withholding a fart
I tighten my buttocks and clench
But when no one is the vicinity
I let rip with a dreadful stench

A silent secret fart released in a confined place
To some folks I guess it’s an utter disgrace
If I fart in a...

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All little boys like to master the fart
Among their peers its considered an art
It must be loud
To make them proud
If stinky, a winner right from the start

...

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I’ve perfected the art 
Of withholding a fart  
I tighten my buttocks and clench
But when no one is the vicinity
I let rip with a dreadful stench

28th March 2016
Jan Allison...

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It is bad enough that he burps 
he has to fart as well, 
I feel like throwing him outside 
because he truly smells. 

He never excuses himself 
runs around the house with pride, 
my eyes overflow with tears 
I don't want him to be inside....

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~*~

==========================

sultry aestival zephyr's puffing
as elated lilt's playing - I'm huffing
abdominal heftiness
yeah! it exploded! SUCCESS!
OOOPS!!! earphones plugged in ears . . . they're laughing.



+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++...

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I’m dining with my uncle Bart
And release an SBD fart
My fart stinks like hell
But Bartie can’t tell
Because we’re two meters apart!

(sbd = silent but deadly)

08/06/21...

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At work it was
slack- not much to
do,
The boss was out on
the prowl. 
We have to look busy
no matter what
His face was all of
a scowl.

I had the misfortune
to pick up a paper
A paper someone
bought for their
break,
The boss he saw- and
he descended on me
The shock made my
knees...

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There once was a story quietly told
A memoir was embrassingly bold
A lady took antacid
For she was very lucid
As antigas formula own tale rolled

Lucid means here easily understood
Sponsor: Destroyer~Poet
Contest:pooping contest...

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Hold it! i am warning you
NO FARTING ALLOWED!
The rest room is near 
you...
DON'T FART OUT LOUD

NO OOZING BOMBS ! Not 
those 
I am not ready to die,so 
stop that art
The last time you fart 
You murdered  my nose

I say NO FART ALLOWED 
DEAR!
The last...

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No Farting Allowed



rushed lunch of cabbage 
at work  no farting allowed
                            small dog approaches





*blushing* deborah burch©
5/15/0212...

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farting sounds or not 
                               it's confirmed passes with smell
     ...

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No farting allowed


Let me see
Will I come out in tries one, two or three

She sits on the bowl, straining, oh lord
I won't come out, its so hard

Constipation, its a mess
Come out, come out, I won't settle for less

Finally feeling the poop, I'm almost out
Ha Ha...

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