Desultory Existence

Dry dust rises behind me as I walk
The earth has become a panting sterile desert
Words become incoherent and rattle as I talk
Dry dust rises behind me as I walk
When I try to communicate, people begin to mock
Before reaching my destination, my path I divert
Dry dust rises behind me as I walk
The earth has become a panting sterile desert.

Dry dust rises behind me as I walk
Words become incoherent and rattle as I talk
When I try to communicate, people begin to mock 
Before reaching my destination, my path I divert
The earth has become a panting sterile desert
How my pitiable fate, I can ever avert?

anxietybetrayaljourneytriolet

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Jennifer Proxenos

Date: 10/28/2024 7:32:00 AM

Your Trionet is cleverly created using the desert as a metaphor for an alienated isolation of mankind from life itself and the world - life has become a dry sterile existence, spiraling into a downward trend and man no longer nurtures the nourishment of communication, or understanding. Love this write, good luck in the contest dear Valsa. Hugs and blessings Jennifer.

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 10/26/2024 1:48:00 AM

Great lines with metaphor. Clever one

Hilda Greenhough

Date: 10/21/2024 6:42:00 PM

This is sn enjoyable poem in a very different style. I can feel the isolation of being alone in a sterile desert. It is good. I hope you win.

Jay Narain

Date: 10/21/2024 10:57:00 AM

Nice triolet. Excellent description of a void pain in your dry and sterile desert.

Victor Buhagiar

Date: 10/21/2024 1:54:00 AM

Your desert is dry and sterile. That is an excellent description of a void plain.

Joe Dimino

Date: 10/20/2024 3:17:00 PM

Yep, difficult to make meaningful relationships in a world, often times, seeming disconnected and substance less. Yep, ashes to ashes and dust to dust, is a world that has failed to live its greater potential. Interesting poem, my friend. Best of luck in contest.

Silent One

Date: 10/20/2024 4:06:00 AM

Hey Valsa, great triolet.. I like how your poem explores themes of alienation, failed communication, and existential despair. Through its repetitive structure and stark imagery, it effectively captures the emotional weight of being lost in a world that offers little nourishment or understanding. The barren desert serves as a powerful metaphor for both personal isolation and the harshness of a world that feels indifferent to your struggles.

Sara Kendrick

Date: 10/20/2024 1:34:00 AM

I haven't really looked at that contest so I don't know all the rules for it, but your work seems seamless so it should be a good contender for the contest. Way to go. Sometimes the road does get dusty, walking gets to be on the same dry places until a rain comes then we have some mud to contend with which can be kind of sticky and maybe even worse than the dust. I don't know maybe they are both the same, each with its own set of problems or complaints. Sara K

Ink Empress

Date: 10/19/2024 11:56:00 PM

Dear sweet valsa, youve written a very heartfelt and deep triolet. I love the way yours flow and how you’ve written “ When I try to communicate, people begin to mock Before reaching my destination, my path I divert“ sometimes when one is overwhelmed too they tend to feel this way about everything and everyone and i think so many do live a life which lacks enthusiasm and as your title says “ desultory” you can do any form and write on any subject and leave us readers intrigued and connected. Best wishes for the contest. Sending you light always