Long Hilarious Poems

Village in the Valley left behind, and then it's a fine find
Mountain in the making...in the dark alleys of my mind

You're a flashlight
In the night
You are a friend 
Till the end
Bite the bullet
You're the village...

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Hate the feelings of ew's and ugh's...let's pause before we put our paws on this unmanageable cause with silent applause (quiet interest or hushed enthusiasm)
What's the cause of these negative, gross, worthless flawful laws that...

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Doggerel I or Nonsense Verse

A$$tronomical
by Michael R. Burch

Einstein, the frizzy-haired,
proved E equals MC squared.
Thus, all mass decreases
as activity ceases?
Not my mass, my a$$ declared!



Bible Libel
by Michael R. Burch

If God
is good,
half the Bible
is libel.

I came up...

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Dear Novice Poet,
Welcome to the wide open wonderful world of poetry!  Today more than ever before, a poem can easily be whatever you want it to be.  The rules are simple.  There...

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YOU ARRIVED ON CUE I SUPPOSE RIGHT AFTER THE CHRISTMAS DAY ARSONS MURDERS PROCLAIMING MY LIFE WAS IN GRAVE DANGER WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT ARSON MURDER 8 ELDERLY PERSONS PARISHES PROCLAIMED MY EX HUSBAND...

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In most of my verse, my simple aim
is just sorta to enter tame.
Then, once inside ~
go completely hog wild ~
showing no reserve,
showing absolutely no shame.

For example:

"What do you think of my pup?",
I asked a cop...

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Slang..
Chick-fil-a = the best place ever
jade = 
brooke = gorgeous 
mishin = the boss, as in “You aren’t the boss of me.”

Orpheus
We’re on vaycay. School is OVER, COVID is over. We’re in New York City...

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Give me a pleasant, 
Elevating and 
Elegant embrace
Times like these are Grim 

Believe in Him
Don’t give up on them –
The people you hang out with
So much fun, I can clearly see actually, 
Time and time...

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Many of my favorite poems
How About This for Veterans Day

A monthly Monday morning military meeting
Would be great for them as way of greeting
Talking about things happening another day
Of past successes and prices they had to...

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"We have an enemy within called the ego
who prevents us from using our mind intelligently.
It hides deep within our heart
and emerges with regularity
to challenge and consume our will."
     Rumi (M. Mafi,...

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How About This for Veterans Day

A monthly Monday morning military meeting
Would be great for them as way of greeting
Talking about things happening another day
Of past successes and prices they had to pay.

Enlisted Term of Service...

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I'VE IN CONSTANT CONTACT WITH EHE FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION SINCE 1985 I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO FEAR OF CORRUPTION BRUTALITY ABUSE OF POWER INTIMATION NO FEAR OF BULLYING ANGRY THAT THE REPEAT VIOLENT MEXICAN GANG...

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ask me about my day as a sweeper today..
its hilarious to even tell this to all today..
the supervisor the power abusing man.
have fallen in love with me.. madly..
he cannot even take his eyes off me..
and...

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IT’S A MAD WORLD In a Lancashire Accent.

I went to the Confectioners today, there was a long queue outside, a metre apart, and it had started to rain. 
The assistant behind the counter had shiny...

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GUNSHOT WOUND TO THE HEART 


From a two-room schoolhouse high on a hill over the Fundy Bay, I sat at an old wooden desk daydreaming. The ink stains and etchings which were dug deep into...

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Captain kuni-lemel graduate strikes again - updated

Steely Dan sing queen (me)
outdid himself on sixtieth anniversary 
after Grahame Wood 
determined to meet 
the evolving needs of the community 
opened the first Wawa Food Market 
in Folsom,...

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Every second, every minute, every single thought about you
Wonders of this still could be too good to be true
Fluttering in my heart, palpitations go amiss
I yearn for the touch of your skin, and I constantly...

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Blind Man’s Five-Legged Dog Rap 

Yo, gather 'round the table, let me spin you a tale, 'Bout a blind man named Benny, he was never frail. Owned a dog with five legs, yeah, you heard...

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Blocks View of His Feet

Trump not only is total loss but also complete;
Speaks same words several times and will repeat;
Ignorant sign off;
Retarded slightly above,
And big belly does block view of his both feet.

James Thesarious Hilarious...

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Twice told toilet tale – a cheeky execrable gross fable

which poetic product best be affixed 
with hashtag STINKY label.

As a young whippersnapper
and one precocious lad to boot,
I discovered common combustible materials
found in the bathroom.

At opportune...

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SOLITARY CONFINEMENT 1 : Number Four


Many chains, many locks and bars
clattered at four in the morning 
black bitter coffee drugged
a single bucket of cold water 
         ...

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Through Their Eyes

The Poetry Murders Part 3 in the series

Murder She Wrote

It was a dark night with a full moon
The alley narrow, my hopes high
My footsteps echoed in the ears of the invisible
I quicken my...

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Hi!
I'm Sister EarthChild
journalist with Youth Radio
speaking with Mother Time,
who recently published her hilarious
"Journeys With Father Time:
Wasted Journals of Mother Time."

First, I want you to know
I've been reading your book
as if it were my own story.
So,...

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Welcome, Soupers, to our special segment today. We have a very unique guest with us - a cherub! Yes, you heard that right. Please give a warm welcome to our celestial friend, Calvin.


Calvin, thank you...

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On becoming a night owl...,
no matter whether or not ya give a hoot

especially after feeling super charged
watching the second night of 
Democratic National Convention conclave
ushering a hint of "Liberté, Egalité, Fraternité.

Men and women are born...

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