Best Lettuce Poems

A funeral is not the place when you find you need to laugh
Here is my true story about my little gaffe
I hope this poem does...

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It’s half pasta ate won chilli winter’s knight sew we staid in cider
Eye maid sum doe four my bred
Aye got in a pickle with sum...

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Is that a ten pounds increase on that scale?
Couldn't be;  those scales...they are a liar
Well..face it have to go on the lettuce again
Lettuce not...

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Lettuce, lettuce alone


                      ...

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The leaves weren’t wilted I see
A head of lettuce light green crispy
And I had checked finances to boot
I was confident I could cover the loot

The...

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she boils her eggs
anticipating salad
there is no lettuce...

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 leaf lettuce plus red
washed through three cold water baths  ....
slug falls in sink  

To make matters worse, I just read an article...

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You bashful 
beautiful boy

Telling me I'm 
lovely 

Telling me I'm
kind

I love you 
and you are 
mine...

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I made a lot of money by selling lettuce that was Latin.
It gave people the munchies and was sure to fatten.
I grew and sold it...

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The Lettuce Workers


Somewhere in California
a midnight one-eyed bus shoots

lettuce farm past lettuce farm
to abutment and a kiss. 
Now the morning papers cry 

15 sleeping Mexicans
glowed...

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Don't need “devil's lettuce” I'm a devil on my own
Mr. D and I are buddies, we talk on the phone
Planning evil stuff
Holding him back is...

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I ate lettuce for a year 
Only lettuce
And drank water
Lost sixty-four pounds
I have gained it back and sixty pounds more

I was young then, more disciplined
Now...

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No one likes dead lettuce
It must be crisp and cool
And dousing wounds with vinegar
Is certainly not cruel!

For Vegans can not see
Why lettuce choose to be
On...

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put a cauliflower on the barb-b
let us roast it while it's still alive
put a burger on the barb-b
it was dead before it was fried
chomp on...

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Crunch

Lettuce is sprouting
In my organic garden
Snails are in rapture...

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