Smart Stuff

I got a smart phone And bought some Smart food Smart razor, smart comb Got my wife a smart boob Whenever it’s squeezed Coz we’re in the mood Ten minutes later The coffee’s fresh brewed I have smart TVs Plus two smart RVs Smart this, and smart that Dumb dog, but smart cat When it mews and purrs And is in my way I see cat food ads Nearly every day I bought a smart car And a smarter truck That brings me new things Though it calls me Chuck I found a smart shelf At the local dump That displays smart stuff And a bobble-head Trump But to cap it off In my world of smart I purchased a spanking New snazzy Smart-Fart That can change odors From unpleasant eww To either a lemon Or citrusy stew It can switch noises To downplay my crime As long as I’m able To change it on time A Smart-Fart is handy For cutting through line And can’t be detected By a trained canine If you’ve grown tired Of the old rotten A Smart-Fart will make Smelly days forgotten So if you want one Put it in your cart The next time you’re at An online Fart Mart