Reflections of a Broken Mirror
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Crafting this poem was a journey, a battle against the ghosts of my past that spanned over a year of writing. As a survivor of child abuse inflicted by my alcoholic father, I bear scars that are etched deep into my soul. They are old wounds that occasionally bleed fresh tears, especially when I encounter a movie or documentary about child abuse.
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In shadows deep where childhood fears reside
A father's wrath and a son's tormented life.
A torrent of abuse with a soul's despair
A question lingers heavy in the stale putrid air.
"Why was I not enough for my father's pride
Why did your love like fragile glass - subside?"
I searched within for flaws and faults unseen
A defective ugly child unworthy of your esteem.
Listen, to the wavering sound of your
uncontrolled wrath.
Like a thunderous lion roar untapped.
Your fists were like the
mountains lightning's strikes
leaving me bloodied
broken and torn.
A distorted reflection in the
broken mirror of your rage.
A son's plea echoing in the void
seeking peace in a Biblical sage.
Each glancing blow was a cruel reminder of
a love that took flight.
A question murmured in the still
of the night
a son's plea echoing silently.
The stars, like a voiceless jury
bore witness to my endless fragility.
Their sparkling diamonds reflected
the blackened tears that blurred my tranquility.
Against the wall
against the floor, I fell
In a proverbial coffin of terror was a living hell.
Personified despair for my desperate plea.
But love remained elusive
never free or for me.
How could I have been different?
I pondered with sickening despair.
Would a change in my
.....essence
have lightened the burden you
......bear?
Your hands were never a source of
...comfort
became instruments of fear.
Their touch, a chilling memory of a love
that just disappeared.
In Dante’s theater of death there is a tragic play.
Each act unfolds in shades of gray and disarray.
Anaphora echoes through the years
"Why, Father, did I provoke your ravaged fears?"
Yet, in the end, it was the silence that echoed the loudest,
Your life a fire extinguished by a disease
most foul and foulest.
Yet, in the quiet of your passing
no answers were bestowed.
Only the lingering question
a heavy, burdensome load.
Up from past’s charred remains
resilience took flight just like
A phoenix reborn.
A new father to three daughters
under God's watchful eyes.
From your dark shadows
I emerged stronger and wiser.
A testament to resilience
a survivor, a Christian riser.
In the end, I found the answer...
not in your silence but in their laughter.
In the love I offer and receive
now and ever, and ever after.
For I am not the echo of your
blind rage but the product
of my Godly choice.
In their smiles, I find my truth
my answer is in their love for
I found my voice.
As another teardrop falls
a trauma survivor finds calmness
just for today and hereafter.
Shadows deep where fears hide
Broken mirror reflects man's pride
Love’s absence and
pain guides.
Copyright © Daniel Henry Rodgers | Year Posted 2024
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