Owl Parliament, Eagle Owl Presiding

Owl Parliament is now in session, so be quiet please. All whistles, hoots, growls, grunts and screeches need to cease. As the largest of you all, I’m in charge, you see. Not to mention, I have killed four warthogs and a monkey! Sir Snowy thinks we need to show a more united front to stand against our predators when they are on the hunt. Why are we killing one another? We’re a dying breed! There are other birds out there on which we all could feed. Let’s get to know each other and what makes us so unique. Miss Elf, our very smallest, I invite you first to speak. Hello, my fellow owls. As some of you may know, five inches is about as tall as my kind ever grow. I’d like to teach you something so you won’t be so inclined to kill each other or to come after my own kind! I’ve learned, besides small animals, there’s other stuff to eat. Fruit, especially prickly pear, can make a yummy treat. I hope you’ll try to eat some fruit. Seeds are so good too. And now, my dear friend Pygmy, can we hear from you? Thank you, Elf. I represent the owl who likes to toot. And I am not ashamed to say that I don’t give a hoot! I’ve been asked by Eagle Owl to warn you of some dangers. Guard your talons and your feathers from some human strangers. There are some so ignorant, they’ll want to take your eyes or make of you a broth because your vision they so prize! We’ve got depth perception, but myths we must dispel. Since our eyes are tubular, up close we don’t see well. For our enemies, this can make us easy prey. But our hearing is so good, it can save the day. What we hear is magnified times ten. My fellow owls, I have to say we are the best compared to other fowls. But beware. We’re also seen as bad luck. Simply for misconceptions (all man-made), they’d nail us to their door. I give the floor to Eagle now. A mighty owl is he. As cunning as a hawk, he shows us all how we can be. Thank you, Pygmy. I now have a few more parting words. Barn owls, true owls, all of you are such fantastic birds. Please realize that other owls are not your enemies, but rather fences, pesticides, and tearing down of trees. The humans have endangered us, yet still they find us cute. Be wise. If caught by one of them, just give a tiny hoot. I’ve seen the humans ooh and ah just to hear our sound. We’re a bird that most of them would like to have around. So never fear. With your big eyes, just sweetly blink and coo. Then do that swivel with your neck that we all like to do. They’ll be like putty in your talons. I am sure of that. I bet we could become the pet to supersede the cat! This meeting is adjourned. I hope that all owls will unite to truly be what we are known for; wise ones of the night.