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2 Lost Poems: Lost In The UK and Lost In The USA

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Lost In The UK: Published 6th September 2023

Lost In The USA: Published 10th April 2024

Image courtesy of Wikipedia Commons

All the following place names are genuine.

A few of the British place names sadly didn't get by the Poetry Soup censors so I had to use asterisks!

A village on the Isle Of Anglesey, Wales.

I: LOST IN THE UK Poling, Patching, Nether Wallop, Matching Tye and Droop Plumpton, Lickfold, Puddletown, Westward Ho! and Throop. Hole of Horcum, New Invention, Boghead, Frome, Cat's Ash North Piddle, Staines and Pen*stone, Wash Dyke, East Breast and Flash. Six Mile Bottom, Mudford Sock, Wetwood, Wetwang, Hose Catbrain, Assloss, No Man's Land, Didling, Lower Rose. Blubberhouses, Giggleswick, Sheepy Magna, Splott Climping, Crudwell, Lickey End, Queen Camel, Picklescott. Bareleg Hill and Sh*tterton, Spital-In-The-Street Coldwind, Weeford, Feltwell, Pant, Wideopen, Nob End, Fleet. Barking, Homer, Fingringhoe, Ugley, Crackpot, Beer Mudchute, Catholes, Shaggs, Prickwillow, Bunny, Jump and Fear. World's End, No Place, Bishop Spit, Land Of Nod and Hyde Tedstone Wafer, Flesh Shank, Helstone, Weedon and Tosside. Brokenwind and Cockermouth, Crapstone, Pity Me Wig Wig, Bi*chfield, Ramsbottom, Marsh Gibbon, Chemistry. Little Snoring, Titty-Ho, Upperthong and Send Booby Dingle, Bushygap, Great Bottom, Dull, Witts End. Ynysybwl and Cwmystwyth, (pronounced: Un-niss-uh-bull, and Cum-uss-bwith) Rhyl and Abersoch (pronounced: Rill and Ab-u-sok) Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch. (pronounced: clan-vye-pulth-gwin-gith-go-gerra-quin-drobber-clan-tiss-ill-ee-o-go-go-gok) Hell Peak, Nasty, Fattiehead, Beggars Bush, Brown Willy Backside, Bell End, Butt Of Lewis, Coldwind, Cocks, Caerphilly. Boggy Bottom, Fanny Barks, Pill and Scratch A*se Ware Jeffries Passage, Purgatory, and Weston-super-Mare. Bicester, Hunstanton,Teignmouth, Leicester, (pronounced: Bis-ter, Hun-stun, Tin-muth, Lester) Southwell and Shrewsbury (pronounced: Suth-ul and Shroos-bree) Burscough, Holborn, Happisburgh, (pronounced: Bers-co, Ho-bun, Haze-buh-ruh) Ae, Gateacre, Cholmondeley. (pronounced: Ay, Gatt-a-ker, Chum-lee) Upper Dicker, Lower Dicker, Snodland, Chard and Goole Lower Swell, Over Peover, Leek, Eye, Diss and Poole. Curry Mallet, Castle Rising, Bonkle, Milton Keynes Isle Of Muck, T*att, Golden Balls and Barton in The Beans. II: LOST IN THE USA Mystic, Bangs, Peculiar, Kill Devil Hills, Three Way Scratch Ankle, Concrete, Evening Shade, Fries, Ketchup Town, Okay. Slaughter Beach, White Pigeon, Pinch, Fluffy Landing, Bleak Santa Claus, What Cheer, Ding Dong, Uncertain, Toad Suck, Eek. Bald Knob, Flasher, Possum Grape, Shangaloo and Uno Kickapoo, Dry Prong, Smackover, Funk, Buttsville and Disco. Bad Axe, Bald Head, Intercourse, Last Chance, Valentine Cotton Plant, Sweet Lips, Mianus, Tightsqueeze, Porcupine. Greasy Corner, Monkey’s Eyebrow, Popejoy, Coward, Pink Looneyville, Blue Eye, Blue Ball, Belcher, Hooker, Ink. Forks Of Salmon, Nothing, Nowhere, Somewhere, Hog Eye, Morse Satan’s Kingdom, Hell For Certain, Accident, Dead Horse. Rough And Ready, Cut Off, Nameless, Cut and Shoot and Coochie Jot Em Down, Earth, Hoop And Holler, Money, Chattahoochee. Sandwich, Oblong, Ninety Six, Hot Coffee, Luck, Delight Truth Or Consequences, Nice, Climax and Goodnight.

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Susan Ashley

Date: 10/20/2024 9:28:00 AM

Dear Gary, your golden pen is ingenious and quite giggle worthy! Love the logical yet whimsical flow and rhyme of your List poem, and the amusing, clever and provocative location name pairings.. so creatively conceived and executed! Quite the endeavor, incredible and entertaining poetry, my poet friend. A fav for sure! Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Susan Ashley
Date: 10/20/2024 2:58:00 PM

OMG! That is hilarious! Your search for rhymes knows no bounds and neither does your amazing artistry and intellect! Now I’m off to YouTube to learn the ‘song’ too hehe!

Gary Radice
Date: 10/20/2024 1:36:00 PM

Susan, thank you so much for your valued comments and the fav. I promised myself if I was going to get the welsh village of Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch to rhyme with some other place somewhere then I would have to learn how to pronounce it first. :) Well, I learnt how to finally pronounce it using this video song: https://youtu.be/1BXKsQ2nbno?feature=shared Suffice to say I can sing it better than I can say it. :) Cheers - Gary.

John Watt

Date: 7/4/2024 9:51:00 PM

Gary, I am inclined to truly enjoy list poems... when they are done well. This one was done VERY well, with your usual stamp of careful attention to meter and rhyme, which makes this whole enterprise rather stunning in its effect. Anyone can compile a list, but very few can make it sing, as you have done here. Reading through this brought many a smile. Bravo! Side note: I have been to Intercourse, Pennsylvania, and the irony is that it is an Amish town, one of the most puritanical belief systems in America. I applaud you, sir ~ John

Gary Radice
Date: 7/5/2024 4:08:00 AM

John - Thank you. I’m smiling..The Tightsqueeze line isn’t a Freudian (gym) slip ..LOL. I wanted to make Lost in The USA read like a pulp fiction story..but gave up..however there remains evidence of my attempts to write a racy story using US place names about a guy ordering a sandwich, hot coffee..meets a woman of the night (Hooker) etc etc...not in the correct story order though due to having to rhyme..Maybe one day I’ll attempt it again. :) Cheers - Gary

John Watt
Date: 7/4/2024 9:55:00 PM

P.S. I wonder what Dr. Freud would say about your choice of putting Tightsqueeze adjacent to Mianus?

Darlene De Beaulieu

Date: 2/22/2024 8:16:00 AM

Hello Gary Radice, My favsA'se are : Boggy Bottom Fanny Barks ,Pills and Scratches As'se Ware. Little Snoring Titty-Hoe .Upper thong and Send. Enjoy your day my friend. /Darlene/

Darlene De Beaulieu
Date: 2/22/2024 10:33:00 AM

Hello Gary, What! Really! My last name is southeastern edge of the New Forest! N o I did not know this fact. What a surprise to read this . But my last married name begins with De then the Beaulieu. my husband told me his father added the De before tne long name. Thank you for this interesting facts about my last name. I am a widow now going on 8 years. Cheers Darlene

Gary Radice
Date: 2/22/2024 9:29:00 AM

Hi Darlene. Did you know that Beaulieu is the name of a village located on the southeastern edge of the New Forest in Hampshire, England? It is home to both Palace House - the stately and family home of Lord Montagu - and the National Motor Museum. In 2020, it was named the fifth most beautiful village in the UK and Ireland by Condé Nast Traveler. So now you know. :) Cheers - Gary

Peter Rees

Date: 2/5/2024 9:52:00 AM

I remember this one so well. It’s absolutely brilliant. I bet you had fun researching all these peculiarly Brutish names. Regards, Peter.

Gary Radice
Date: 2/5/2024 2:40:00 PM

Thanks Peter. I had fun but also tore my hair out trying to find places that fitted in to the rhyming scheme :) Cheers - Gary

Charles Messina

Date: 12/31/2023 3:56:00 AM

Wow! Some of these names are mind-blowing. Thanks for the history lesson, Gary. I'm lost already (lol). Happy New Year to you and yours. Charlie

Gary Radice
Date: 12/31/2023 9:52:00 PM

And the same back to you Charlie. Many thanks for your visit. Not a place name in Britain, but I'm sure you are aware that Messina is also the name of a city on the beautiful island of Sicily. :) Have a great '24. Cheers - Gary

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 11/8/2023 12:35:00 PM

oh my, I'd be SUPER lost. I guess it's not just my country with weird names for locations!!

Gary Radice
Date: 11/8/2023 1:22:00 PM

Electric, Deliight, Why, Rough and Ready, Slaughter Beach, Tightsqueeze, What Cheer, Bald Head, Monkey's Eyebrow and Intercourse. Yes Andrea, you're right - USA has weird names too. :) I guess there's weirdness everywhere when it comes to world place names. I love 'em all. :) Cheers - Gary

Bill Baker

Date: 10/8/2023 10:57:00 AM

Thanks for sharing such historical and entertaining poetry with us, Gary. A delight to read through and ponder on some of the unusual town names. A FAV for this one for the time and research needed to make it happen. Kudos for the effort my friend. Cheers, Bill

Gary Radice
Date: 10/8/2023 12:35:00 PM

Bill, thanks so much for your valued comments and the fav too. I've really enjoyed putting it all together. I intend to add to it if I can find new strange sounding places to fit the rhyme scheme. Cheers - Gary

Paul Callus

Date: 10/8/2023 1:45:00 AM

Wow! This must have taken up a good amount of time to structure and finalize, Gary! It's most entertaining, and I can assure you that, apart from 9/10 place-names, the others are completely new to me. Still laughing at several of them :) :) Regards // paul

Gary Radice
Date: 10/8/2023 1:57:00 AM

Hi Paul. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Yes, it's taken time to put together. It remains a work in progress but it's getting harder to find places that rhyme / flow together. :) It's one thing finding these places mentioned on certain pages of the net but then another thing checking each one out to see if they have been spelt correctly in the first place (I found that several hadn't) or indeed if they actually exist. (I discarded some place names I found on certain web pages as they appeared to have been completely made up!) I'm happy you like the poem....I'm sure Malta must have its fair share of strange sounding places too?? :) Cheers - Gary

Tony Hargreaves

Date: 10/6/2023 9:05:00 AM

Enjoyed this. And some amusing names for English towns. But seems some censored by the Soup Computer. Our Pennine town of Penistone has lost an i, I wonder why. Tony.

Gary Radice
Date: 10/6/2023 9:39:00 AM

:) Thanks for your visit, read and comments Tony. Im smiling at the fact that Penistone is allowed uncensored in these comments but is censored in the main body (pardon the pun) of my poem. Technology eh? Don't you just love it?? :) Cheers - Gary

Sam Kauffman

Date: 9/25/2023 12:30:00 PM

I just love your whimsical side, Gary! Great idea to blend these funny, yet historical place names, into a riot of laughter! Some of the names have been changed to protect the innocent! Reminds me that language always changes meanings! Congratulations on your win!!! Made me laugh. I needed that today! Blessings!

Gary Radice
Date: 9/26/2023 12:15:00 AM

Thanks Sam. :) I tried to write those 'dodgy sounding' place names in full here but The Soup automatically deleted certain letters so I was left placing *s instead. I can't help thinking about the people who live in these places and the sheer awkwardness / laughs / groans that must arise when having to tell people / firms / services where they live. :) Im glad it brought a smile. Cheers - Gary

Brian Sambourne

Date: 9/16/2023 7:20:00 AM

Exceptional names beautifully placed in flow + rhyme. We have a "Dildo" (once a name for oar pegs) Newfoundland here, along with other unorthodox names. Be well. Cheers, Brian

Gary Radice
Date: 9/24/2023 2:56:00 AM

LOL!! I was trying to think of what "Come By Chance" would have been called if it hadn't been discovered by chance.."It Was Always There" maybe?..then again, had it not been discovered then noone would have given it a name in the first place..and I am now confusing myself so will stop there. :) Thanks again Brian! Cheers - Gary

Brian Sambourne
Date: 9/22/2023 7:55:00 PM

And let's not forget "Come By Chance" Newfoundland. (Its habour discovered by chance.) Such a richness of names. Sincerest regards, Brian

Gary Radice
Date: 9/17/2023 12:19:00 AM

Many thanks Brian. I had to look up other Newfoundland names after you posted this and there are a few: Heart's Content, Devil Head, Happy Adventure, Cupids, Conception Bay and Blow Me Down. :) Cheers - Gary

Joanna Daniel

Date: 9/14/2023 1:27:00 AM

These names sound so funny, Gary, thanks for compiling them for us, and that too in rhyme:) wonderful:)

Gary Radice
Date: 9/15/2023 2:19:00 AM

Thank you Joanna. I was reading an article about how one of the more rude sounding place names I've mentioned in the poem keeps getting its sign stolen by thieves. I wont mention the place name here but will just add that its name stretches back at least 1,000 years and has been explained as "farmstead on the stream used as an open sewer" :) Cheers - Gary

Juliet Ligon

Date: 9/12/2023 7:53:00 AM

What a creative idea! Looks like lots of research was involved, and it must have been challenging to come up with a consistent rhyming scheme! I think of the song "We Didn't Start The Fire," both the old and new versions; This would be super fun set to music.

Gary Radice
Date: 9/12/2023 12:51:00 PM

Juliet, thanks so much for your comments. I've just gone back to 'sing' my poem to the Billy Joel classic and..Yes! I see (and hear) exactly what you mean. It could just do with a chorus now. :) Cheers - Gary

Gershon Wolf

Date: 9/11/2023 7:48:00 PM

Simply amazing. And to think that you wrote this in 'the King's English! lol. Pretty neat, Gary!

Gary Radice
Date: 9/11/2023 11:47:00 PM

Not forgetting Welsh! LOL! Thanks Gershon. Cheers - Gary

Linda Milgate

Date: 9/10/2023 12:07:00 PM

I am going to look some of these up, thanks.

Gary Radice
Date: 9/10/2023 1:14:00 PM

It's fascinating isn't it? :) I'm so glad my poem had you looking some place names up Linda. That in itself is a great compliment. One of the place names in the poem 'Mudchute' (My wife and I passed a station bearing this name while riding the London Docklands Light Railway) originally had the name "Mud Shoot". It derives its name from being the former dumping ground for mud dredged from the Millwall Docks, which had to be regularly dredged to prevent silting up. Makes sense I suppose. :) EDIT: Fingringhoe added to the 11th stanza. :) Cheers - Gary

Linda Milgate
Date: 9/10/2023 12:56:00 PM

interesting info found one example Any place name with an “ing” in it refers to the people of a certain person or location, from the Old English “ingas”. Similarly, “hoh”, or “hoe” as it has become here, refers to a heel or protruding piece of land. The village of Fingringhoe is set on a small bend in the river, possibly the heel of land that the name refers to. The bodily reference is continued with “Fingr”, which means finger. In this case, it’s probably a finger of land love to learn!!

Christina Bowring

Date: 9/10/2023 2:27:00 AM

This is absolutely brilliant Gary and made me laugh. So clever. In fact, absolutely genius with being able to fit it altogether in a perfect rhyme scheme! Applause to you! Never heard of most of the places. That must have been a tricky write with lots of research but well worth it. I could quite easily see this printed in a book. Well done from a smiling Brit. :) :):)

Gary Radice
Date: 9/10/2023 7:56:00 AM

Thank you Christina. I've done a tiny bit of changing around since your comment which I think helps the flow. I really appreciate your lovely comments. Cheers - Gary

Linda Milgate

Date: 9/9/2023 3:45:00 PM

Well whole family from great great grandparents on both sides came from England and Scotland. Not surprised that those are real places. Interesting combination, clever use and unique. Glad my family had less interesting names!!! No poetry in them though. Milgate - Harrington

Gary Radice
Date: 10/12/2023 12:50:00 AM

Linda there are places in UK with those names! Milgate is a settlement in Lancashire. The place-name derives from Old English myln 'mill' + geat 'gate gap'. Harrington is a village in Cumbria, England. It's derived from three Anglo-Saxon words; Har or Harr (a man's name), ingas (people) and ton (settlement/estate/enclosure). The original settlers were a group of people whose leader called himself Har. The original inhabitants of the land would have called themselves Haringas (Har's people) and the settlement Haringa tun (estate of the Haringas) : ..but I bet you knew that anyway :) Cheers - Gary

Gary Radice
Date: 9/10/2023 2:03:00 AM

Thanks Linda. On the face of it the UK place names sound funny - and crude - but I love the true meanings and history behind the names. I'm guessing most countries in the world have strange place names - It's just that the UK has more than most it seems. :) Cheers - Gary

Ink Empress

Date: 9/9/2023 3:42:00 AM

This is so intriguing and creative, the way you’ve used so many names here to deliver this brilliant write. Although I’ve been to England many times Ive never really noticed these names but now that you’ve highlighted in such a poetic manner i might remember to pay attention. Very creative writer you are. Pleasure reading this

Gary Radice
Date: 9/9/2023 8:10:00 AM

Thank you Ink Empress. I'm actually having problems getting some places past the Poetry Soup censors due to their names or part of their names containing words that are not in polite use. It's a difficult one really. On one hand people live in these real places and on the other you could argue that I'm using them for effect - which, yes, I suppose I am. I digress; thank you so much for your lovely comments and I'm glad you enjoyed it. Cheers - Gary

Michelle Faulkner

Date: 9/8/2023 7:37:00 PM

Even though I have never been to your country I am quite intrigued by your colorful town names (is Butt of Lewis a real place? I can imagine the jokes!) The funniest towns I know of is Truth or Consequences, New Mexico (named after a game show, believe it or not!)

Gary Radice
Date: 9/9/2023 12:19:00 AM

Hi Michelle. Thank you for your visit. I can confirm that The Butt Of Lewis is the most northerly point of Lewis in the Outer Hebrides (Scotland). :) Rudha Robhanais is its gaelic name. In English, it was originally called Bowling Head, but the name was changed at some point to the Butt of Lewis. Question is..Why?? And by who?? :) Place names fascinate me. Thanks again. Cheers - Gary

Christopher Flaherty

Date: 9/7/2023 1:19:00 PM

Made me laugh this 1 Gary Sir Thought of Blackadder Baldric running as the M.P for Donny on the Wirral A Rotten candidate For a Rotten Borough

Gary Radice
Date: 9/8/2023 12:02:00 AM

LOL! We have such weird place names don't we? :) Thanks Christopher. It's not been an easy poem to rhyme but overall I'm having a lot of fun putting it together (it's an ongoing project) . I'm grateful for all the comments as I was honestly concerned that I'd have more fun putting it together than people would have reading it. :) It's great to read others' positive coments and the fact that it made you laugh. Cheers - Gary

Christopher Flaherty
Date: 9/7/2023 1:20:00 PM

Le Coq in the Cotswolds Is where they actually filmed Harry Potter

Terry Flood

Date: 9/6/2023 3:06:00 PM

I once spent three months in a caravan at Sandy Balls. I used to drive through Snodland (which always sounded a bit smurfy to me). Really enjoyed this, Gary, especially how you organised the locales to achieve the rhyming pattern. Even as a Brit, I hadn’t heard of all of them. Terry

Gary Radice
Date: 9/7/2023 12:14:00 AM

Thanks Terry. :) It's one of those poems that had me tearing my hair out trying to get the thing to rhyme. It's version 2 ..version 1 (Sad- Nav) was published and then pulled earlier in the year and included welsh places..and yep Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysilio gogogoch was featured..I rhymed it with Abersoch! Although its in Wales I'm working on another verse to include it here. :) EDIT: I've now included said long place name and changed the title to Lost In The UK..and..added Sandy Balls "..dates back to the reign of King Henry VII when 'sandyballas' – domed sand and gravel outcrops on its western boundary first appeared on historic maps" :) PS Snodland added too. Cheers - Gary

Speaks Volumes

Date: 9/6/2023 9:13:00 AM

OK Gary, this may sound crazy, but I adored reading it, cause it has such a beat and the names are fascinating. Never been to England, so the actual words meant nothing, but it has a genuine fun element and made me happy.

Gary Radice
Date: 9/6/2023 9:34:00 AM

Thanks S V. Names of places and their origins fascinate me. For instance, Blubberhouses - "This comes from the Middle English 'bluber', meaning bubbling spring, and the Old English 'husum', for houses, so it means 'houses by the bubbling spring'. I've done a little moving round with the poem since your comment so hopefully it's a little easier to read. Cheers - Gary

Charlotte Puddifoot

Date: 9/6/2023 7:11:00 AM

good one gary! you missed ramsbottom, that's another one lol i live five minutes from westward ho! it's named after charles kingsley's novel

Gary Radice
Date: 9/6/2023 8:06:00 AM

Thanks Charlotte. I'm wondering how I missed Ramsbottom...the East Lancashire steam railway runs through there and I love steam trains (sad)..and Ramsbottom was the name of one of Sooty and Sweep's friends..he was a snake that used to make me laugh out loud as a kid..and er..as an adult.. (jeez..even sadder). I sense there are more verses to this..I'll probably add more over time. . Westward Ho!'s exclamation mark always makes me smile. :) EDIT: New verse added with Ramsbottom! :) Cheers - Gary

Tom Woody

Date: 9/6/2023 5:18:00 AM

Those Brits, such silly chaps. I wonder what it's like to live in Mudford Sock?

Gary Radice
Date: 9/10/2023 1:24:00 PM

'Sock', is an old name for an area of marsh or streams. Cheers - Gary

Gary Radice
Date: 9/6/2023 5:51:00 AM

Right. LOL! ....Thinking on, Barton in The Beans sounds like a great name for a 'Blazing Saddles' town. :) Cheers - Gary

Tom Woody
Date: 9/6/2023 5:33:00 AM

Well, American are nothing more than former silly chaps, right? Lol

Gary Radice
Date: 9/6/2023 5:24:00 AM

Oh totally agree Tom. We are raving mad! :) I'll add that I would LOVE to visit the following places in USA: Fries, Concrete, Whynot, Ninety Six, Climax, Colon, Hooker, Uncertain and Last Chance to name but a few. :) Thanks for 'visiting' :) Cheers - Gary

Jan Allison

Date: 9/6/2023 4:34:00 AM

ha ha ha would be hilarious to live in one of these villages lol, I recall one place when we went to son's graduation at Durham, it was called 'Pity Me' lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Gary Radice
Date: 9/6/2023 4:45:00 AM

LOL!! Thanks Jan. My aunt lives in one of the places I wanted to mention in this poem but couldn't due its name contravening PS guidelines. :) https://www.express.co.uk/news/uk/1794961/dorset-village-rude-place-name EDIT: Pity Me added in a new verse! Thanks! :) Cheers - Gary