2 Lost Poems: Lost In The UK and Lost In The USA
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Lost in The UK: Revised and republished: 9th October 2023
Lost in The USA: Published 10th April 2024
Image courtesy of Keith Evans / Geograph.org.uk
All the following place names are genuine.
Some of the more 'awkward to pronounce' places have their true pronunciations in italics below their name.
A few of the British place names sadly didn't get by the Poetry Soup censors so I had to use asterisks!
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I: LOST IN THE UK
Poling, Patching, Nether Wallop,
Matching Tye and Droop
Plumpton, Lickfold, Puddletown,
Westward Ho! and Throop.
Hole of Horcum, New Invention,
Boghead, Frome, Cat's Ash
North Piddle, Staines and Pen*stone,
Wash Dyke, East Breast and Flash.
Six Mile Bottom, Mudford Sock,
Wetwood, Wetwang, Hose
Catbrain, Assloss, No Man's Land,
Didling, Lower Rose.
Blubberhouses, Giggleswick,
Sheepy Magna, Splott
Climping, Crudwell, Lickey End,
Queen Camel, Picklescott.
Bareleg Hill and Sh*tterton,
Spital-In-The-Street
Coldwind, Weeford, Feltwell, Pant,
Wideopen, Nob End, Fleet.
Barking, Homer, Fingringhoe,
Ugley, Crackpot, Beer
Mudchute, Catholes, Shaggs, Prickwillow,
Bunny, Jump and Fear.
World's End, No Place, Bishop Spit,
Land Of Nod and Hyde
Tedstone Wafer, Flesh Shank, Helstone,
Weedon and Tosside.
Brokenwind and Cockermouth,
Crapstone, Pity Me
Wig Wig, Bi*chfield, Ramsbottom,
Marsh Gibbon, Chemistry.
Little Snoring, Titty-Ho,
Upperthong and Send
Booby Dingle, Bushygap,
Great Bottom, Dull, Witts End.
Ynysybwl and Cwmystwyth,
Un-niss-uh-bull, and Cum-uss-bwith,
Rhyl and Abersoch
Rill and Ab-u-sok
Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch.
clan-vye-pulth-gwin-gith-go-gerra-quin-drobber-clan-tiss-ill-ee-o-go-go-gok
Hell Peak, Nasty, Fattiehead,
Beggars Bush, Brown Willy
Backside, Bell End, Butt Of Lewis,
Coldwind, Cocks, Caerphilly.
Boggy Bottom, Fanny Barks,
Pill and Scratch A*se Ware
Jeffries Passage, Purgatory,
and Weston-super-Mare.
Bicester, Hunstanton,Teignmouth, Leicester,
Bis-ter, Hun-stun, Tin-muth, Lester
Southwell and Shrewsbury
Suth-ul and Shroos-bree
Burscough, Holborn, Happisburgh,
Bers-co, Ho-bun, Haze-buh-ruh,
Ae, Gateacre, Cholmondeley.
Aye, Gatt-a-ker, Chum-lee.
Upper Dicker, Lower Dicker,
Snodland, Chard and Goole
Lower Swell, Over Peover,
Leek, Eye, Diss and Poole.
Curry Mallet, Castle Rising,
Bonkle, Milton Keynes
Sandy Balls, T*att, Golden Balls,
and Barton in The Beans.
II: LOST IN THE USA
Mystic, Bangs, Peculiar,
Kill Devil Hills, Three Way
Scratch Ankle, Concrete, Evening Shade,
Fries, Ketchup Town, Okay.
Slaughter Beach, White Pigeon, Pinch,
Fluffy Landing, Bleak
Santa Claus, What Cheer, Ding Dong,
Uncertain, Toad Suck, Eek.
Bald Knob, Flasher, Possum Grape,
Shangaloo and Uno
Kickapoo, Dry Prong, Smackover,
Funk, Buttsville and Disco.
Bad Axe, Bald Head, Intercourse,
Last Chance, Valentine
Cotton Plant, Sweet Lips, Mianus,
Tightsqueeze, Porcupine.
Greasy Corner, Monkey’s Eyebrow,
Popejoy, Coward, Pink
Looneyville, Blue Eye, Blue Ball,
Belcher, Hooker, Ink.
Forks Of Salmon, Nothing, Nowhere,
Somewhere, Hog Eye, Morse
Satan’s Kingdom, Hell For Certain,
Accident, Dead Horse.
Rough And Ready, Cut Off, Nameless,
Cut and Shoot and Coochie
Jot Em Down, Earth, Hoop And Holler,
Money, Chattahoochee.
Sandwich, Oblong, Ninety Six,
Hot Coffee, Luck, Delight
Truth Or Consequences, Nice,
Climax and Goodnight.
Copyright © Gary Radice | Year Posted 2023
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