Short Whiner Poems

I remember as a kid this one little guy
tough as nails and quick with a lie
he showed up with a shiner
but he wasn't a whiner
said he, I hit his fist with my eye...

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Slave-driving beaver:
"Dam it
Damn it!"

Unhappy restaurant client:
Diner
Whiner

Neutered Tomcat:
Benign
Feline

Why did she slap me? All I did was:
Toot her
Hooter

Careless Urologist:
Pecker
Wrecker...

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i knew an old cook in a diner
who was a terrible whiner
but people loved what he cooked
and the diner was always booked
no one had fare that was finer

Cornucopia Cooking Poetry Contest
Sponsored by:
Chantelle Anne Cooke
7/12/19...

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oh drama queen
winner of so many awards:
The Whiner,
The Stomper,
and yes of course
The Thrower of all things that are in your reach
you put on such a good show
i'm really honored to receive a front row seat
i admire your technique, 
but not the unwanted attention you obtain
or the nasty little stares from on coming traffic...

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One day cat ran off with my pork wiener,
now, usually I am no whiner;
and I love my cat divine,
always in my heart will twine;
but, gosh darn, there was no wiener finer!

________________________
February 21, 2023 (repost)


Poetry/Limerick/The Weiner
Copyright Protected, ID 1526-946-21
All Rights Reserved, 2023, Constance La France...

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If one’s mother-in-law is  a woman Hitler, the father-in-law might be a fatal whiner!

Horrible women are sure to abuse
the spouses who bow and scrape to such shrews.

Merciless, malicious, manipulating matriarchs make mere mortal meek men miserable.


Dec. 17, 2015

Anagrams: Mother-in-law/woman Hitler; father-in-law/ fatal whiner...

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Grumbles and groans about all she sees.
                      Bellyaching and complaining
                   Fussing, kicking and squawking
                            Peevishly petulant
                               bitter mudgeon
                               grouchy whiner
                                    a surly
                                   boorish
                                     gripe...

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Deliver me a Man
not a boy
lm not searching for little patters
down the hall
lm looking for feet up the stairs
Accompanied by a hoarse voice
full of authority and confidence

Deliver me a Man
not a boy
lm not searching for a whiner and complainer
who leans on me for his standing
lm looking for broad shoulder
that know how to lift their own burdens

And yet still still manage to lift me
protect me and provide for me
Deliver me a Man
Not a boy.

By Amanda Ranganawa...

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Gloria, generous Geisha kitty was taught to be demure
She was not a whiner, barely issued whimper or purr
Wore flowers in her hair, her room was subtly perfumed
She held court in there, teaching tricks to those about to be groomed

She taught me too, granddaddy told his young grandson Might.
She’s rather long in the teeth now, though, isn’t that right?
That Gloria’s age had been mentioned was shocking to some cats.
Gloria’s children heard it and said “but she still catches rats.”...

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