Short Wanker Poems

imagine a wanker joke

parliament gone up in smoke

brings in a rocket

hid deep in pocket

well guy fawkes you silly bloke.
...

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There was a lad from Dublin
So sad he wanted some lovin’
He fell asleep in class
Woke up to deep laughs
His wanker tall hot as an oven...

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He called up the contact
The contact gave his name and number
The number was a familiar one
Old Nick's address 666
The name needed verifying
Biatch Wanker 
Can you spell it again?
The line was bad
Remember son
Gothic music is the best
And Satan is a heavy metal God
See you at the gig
Dress in black......

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Mrs. May, I’ve no reason to thank her,
that Corbyn bloke’s a total wanker,
Dreams I will now shatter,
The Lib Dems just don’t matter, 
And as for the rest 
They’re just a protest.

So with a lack of selection, 
In the General Election,
I’ll assign the dice and go with luck
Cus BREXIT made me not give a duck!...

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Star Sprayer

Twinkler
Sprinkler

Cleaning Freak

Hyper
Wiper

Flautist Pickpocket

Piper
Swiper

Complaining Hitman

Griper
Sniper

Test for Savant Autism

Rain Man
Brain Scan

Not Heard in France

Thank 'ee
Yankee

Capitalist Jerk

Wanker
Banker

Oct. 21, 2022
For A Brian Strand Premiere Choice Poetry Contest...

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My girl Ellie came from Philly
She loves chili from the deli
Such a Silly Sally
Saw her dilly-dally
For a million hours
Smelling gillyflowers
Under hilly towers.

My pop Billy Banker
Was a willy wanker
He was really bonkers
With his deely-bobbers
He loved jelly
Marie Corelli
His cat Milly
And!
Watching telly
With a lily
On his belly....

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I stick the paper of what appears to be a gray canvas
and then I shove this filter between
on the edge of it
after that I put the tobacco
as for a those good strong cigarette
then with tongue from one head to another
do not know why 
but when I do that
I want to rub me.
not because I'm some wanker
vulgar nor gave me the head to be
No.
is merely a state of
in which the cigarette rolls up
make clank
to get her out
and I beat her
while I thinking of your nipples
and burn
burn so good!...

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