Short Trousers Poems

All trousers, 

Not Sirs!...

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Trousers are ashtrays
Traveler's affectation
Embracing the dirt....

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stormy cotton cloud 
billowing fresh emerald green 
shrouds the old cynic...

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two cloth pools bedside
silk skirt, real denim trousers
a sport event-- splash !...

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You have flowers on your head
May I pick some?

I have bees in my trousers
Can I offer you some?...

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dropping his trousers
‘full moon’ is on view to all …
too much alcohol

15th April 2015...

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Inside my wardrobe: lots of ties,
some jackets, shirts and trousers too
(we won't go into just what size!)

...

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Trousers straight and smart,
Black or grey and sweet,
A bit too tight at the waistline,
And a bit afraid of the feet....

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Sagging trousers




Low waist
Fine taste




Written July 9th, 2015
© Dr. Upma A. Sharma
For contest by Judy Konos...

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my face is covered
wet things give me cold
but nothing you pay me
one day I will eat up
bellies of your trousers
then know  wire is wire...

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Diddle, diddle dumpling, my son John.
Struggles to slide his trousers on;
seems causation hasn’t dawned.
Put down the dumplings, my son John....

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My neighbor is a real glutton
At a feast, he gobbled much mutton,
Besides other meat,
Ate piles of sweet!
Now his trousers, he can’t button!!...

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A little old chap was locked out
Without trousers he danced all about
He didn't look cold
But his briefs they were old
And he wore them inside out...

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Though some beware the Ides of March
My mum adds some extra starch
My shirt is like steel
My trousers won't kneel
With the zip as stuck as a larch....

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A lady so much older than I 
Deftly signalled a path from her thigh
Like a wrinkle in thyme
Something started to climb
Hmmph!  I forgot to zip up my fly!...

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He wore no underwear;
His stag night* was a gas -
We pulled his trousers down
And showed the world his ass.

*bachelor party

For Carol’s Ornery Friends contest...

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There once was a Brit called Jack Horne,
Whose trousers were tattered and torn.
As he took his pants down,
He observed with a frown
His boxers were equally worn....

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i bust my trousers 
and my shirt buttons fly off- -
picks up a dumb bell

*I hope to lose my belly - but I say that every year...

for Tracie's New Year haiku contest...

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Through turquoise  houses
curtain nets a twitching
Ladies trousers wistful 
maybe tomorrow a change
I am the breeze
cool as beaches
promenades are seen for miles...

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Missus Claus had to trudge down to jail,
Once more toting with her Santa's bail;
Seems where people all shop
He let red trousers drop:
He enjoys showing biddies he's male....

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There was a young blonde from Stroud
Whose hair made her stand out in a crowd
Til my nail caught in a curl
I declare this ain't no girl
her trousers were standing out proud...

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andrew caddick (short brown hair)
comes to bowl:
right hand over
looks straight on.

(Merv Hughes and Ian Healey - exeunt)

umpire (black trousers):
“he moved his feet!”...

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She wore blue tights on the Monday

Tuesday it was green

Bright orange on the Wednesday

Thursday it was cream

I predicted black for the Friday

She wore trousers

Hate that girl....

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With your beer belly bulging 
And your trousers far too tight
Your string vest showing 
Your shirt is no longer white 

Oh my darling you don’t look wonderful tonight

Jan Allison
15th August 2014...

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Standups can crack up audiences for hours
Especially when entering the stage without trousers
It wasn't intentional
Nor is it conventional
But surely the crowd won't throw cauliflowers...

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