The North Pole life can be so hard.
Poor Santa longed to take a break.
His missus told him, “Off we go
to Florida. It’s for your sake!”
While he lounged by the indoor pool,
she vamoosed with a young masseur
in Santa’s car with all his cash.
This vicious blow he would endure.
He called Rudolph: “I’m stranded here.
I want to be back home TODAY.”
Eight reindeer dashed to Florida
to rescue him in his own sleigh.
Wonder
is like Joy
except more below the waist
and less above,
said the Muse
to the Choreographer.
Awe
accompanies Wonder
and yet feels more silent bass
and less trembling treble
cleft,
said the Choreographer
to the RightHand dominant
Composer
Joy sings
overflowing Awesome pelvic dance
more above the neck
and less wondrously below
our DarkWhole sacred chakra
of deep lusty Integrity,
said the Masseur
to the multiculturing Muse,
face down on his table.
Wonder
is like Joy
except more below the waist
and less above,
repeated the Muse
to his hopeful Choreographer.
As Mrs Clause poked at her Chicken Chasseur
How could such an opportunity pass her?
With the Reindeers on strike
Santa slow on his bike
Missed her appointment with her hunky Masseur
17/12/22
A Funny Santa Limerick Poetry Contest
Sponsor: Tania Kitchin
I was your bride, stood by your side - now you have lied
I said before; lies I abhor… you told me four
Words get heated, you’d cheated , I feel defeated
Your mum is sad and tells your dad, I’m boiling mad!
That blonde masseur - you’d slept with her, my minds a blur
I see red, you’d defiled our bed … your ego fed
You low life lout I scream and shout - I throw you out
I’ve packed your bag … go to that hag - soon tongues will wag
You’ve got no dough a crushing blow … she says just go!
A home you lack, can you come back - sling your hook Jack!
Keen Observation I Poetry Contest
Sponsored by Funom Makama
08/17/20
Lane
We will send you a cream,
a cream for massage use
The cream comes with a male
He is a trained masseur
and is equipped with a big tool
He will use this on you
after massaging you
Prepared to be satisfied
In every single way
Here's the Good News, our world is awash,
in wonders and beauty life cannot quash;
Like laughter and love, kind words, Turtle Doves,
Bar Mitzvahs and birthdays, baptisms and first dates,
Promotions, Grand Openings, healings and yodeling!
Still more Good News...
Our world is awash, in kisses and hands held,
Tests passed, graduations, and money found;
Quiet moments of solitude, with friends in coffee shops,
Good moods rise above, and a dog’s unconditional love!
And still more...
A cat’s warm fur, trips to masseuse or masseur;
Reports of remission, Broadway shows and magicians,
Art galleries, symphonies, faith and homeless ministries;
Be ye conscious of good news, often awash,
Overwhelmed by negative, it simply gets lost.
Just a heads up--Good News Sells too!
March 22, 2020
Las Vegas renown Belle E. Danser
Is deathly afraid of breast cancer
She heard a masseur
Developed a cure
Best of all, the man's a free lancer!
Didn’t you ever question your lady’s masseur,
And wonder if his intentions were pure?
His hands are so strong,
The curtains are drawn!
And he’s touching her every little contour.
miss Leyla has a body
that launches ships
and carves through
mirrored glaciers,
deep tanned to front
and rear,
I wish I was her masseur
and while I watch her
clothes fall off,
to desk and chair,
then to the carpet's
ocean floor, I quickly
turn away,
she's
moved me;
I wish she was close
and not three desks
away:
and slowly... oh so very
very slowly,
I help her dress,
and begins the day.
TEMPTATION'S TOUCH
-----------------------------
His palm soothes the ridges
Furrowed in her starlight skin
Her masseur, he replenishes
Each and every aching extremity
The chiming bells of his strokes
Ring again and again
Summoning her to his lair
Collaged in deep affinity
Her rock solid attraction
Draws her savory soul
Into a lustrous world
She's never seen nor known
A vibrant virgin caressed
Then clasped by her first
Drowns her soul in his lake
To diffuse her thirst
Heaven's hallowed sheet
At last drops her drapes
Unveiling her cast concealed
Behind the stage
Lines from her script
Long lavished in capes
Sifts and locks his eyes
Embellished by each page
Chastity's cloud exiles
Then expurgates her existence
Extracted by he who
Extricated her innocence
Alive and awake, she shows
Herself just the same
Fluorescent radiant flower
Who bears a different name
Restlessly she reclines
Atop her apple green ground
While her heart percussions
Her wedded lover's sound
Each tantalizing twine
Designs his touch so sweet
Tightly tying the tongue
Of the tasting rose
Flooded in fervent favor
From Gehenna's heat
Deteriorating the stem
Decimating her pose
I get paid driving a farm tractor
with sideline job as chiropractor.
I massage, soothe muscular pains,
move circulation through your veins.
Never trained in orthopedics.
But I've got skills of the medics.
Strained tendons, twisted ligaments,
just suit yourselves, my compliments.
I rub and press, even squeeze
your bodies, limbs and extremities.
Be yours the size of whales or eels,
your ills, your aches this masseur heals.
My fingers know topography
and the contours of your body.
Got skills of a land surveyor
from long driving a farm tractor!
.
I get paid driving a huge farm tractor
with sideline job as chiropractor;
I massage and I soothe muscular pains,
move vital circulation through your veins.
Though I never trained in orthopedics,
I've got skills similar to the medics;
sprained joints, strained tendons, twisted ligaments,
just tell me where it hurts, my compliments.
I pat and dab, rub and press, knead and squeeze
your weary back, limbs and extremities;
be yours the size and girth of whales or eels,
your aches, your ills this handy masseur heals.
You see, there's none on your anatomy
that escapes from these fingers that tell me;
I've learned the skills of a land surveyor
from long years of driving a farm tractor!
listen you peice of rotten soul and insiduous temprement.
you died the second your lung's filled..
your's is the agenda of dark door's and damp bone's.
you make victim's of the weak and weary.
the old timer sat silently,or the young child with not a thought of tainted colour's.
quite you murderous,masseur of mayhem.
your threats fall weakly against the strength of my beleif's.
on the floor scuttling like the rabid snake you are.
death's door will fall on you with the crashing,crushing all empowering bark of
freedom.
I get paid driving a farm tractor
with sideline job as chiropractor;
I massage, soothe muscular pains,
move circulation through your veins;
though never trained in orthopedics,
I've got some real skills like the medics;
strained tendons or twisted ligaments,
come, just suit yourselves, my compliments;
I rub and press, and even squeeze
your bodies, limbs, extremities;
be yours the size of whales or eels,
your aches, your ills this masseur heals;
the contours of your anatomy
are easy topographies for me;
I've learned skills of a land surveyor
from years of driving a farm tractor.