Long Billiard Poems

Limericks
by Michael R. Burch



Clyde Lied!
by Michael R. Burch

There once was a mockingbird, Clyde,
who bragged of his prowess, but lied.
To his new wife he sighed,
"When again, gentle bride?"
"Nevermore!" bright-eyed Raven replied.



The Platypus
by Michael R. Burch

The platypus,...

Read More

Limericks VII - Naughty, Bawdy, Risque, Absurd

There continue to be modern sequels of the famous "Nantucket" limericks, including this bawdy one of mine:

There was a lewd whore from Nantucket
who intended to pee in a bucket;
but...

Read More

Limericks III - Grab Bag

Being a peace activist, I once wrote a limerick in an attempt to stop needless wars:

Of Tetley’s and V-2's
(or "Why Not to Bomb the Brits")
by Michael R. Burch

The English are very...

Read More

Limericks IV - Donald Trump

The Hair Flap
by Michael R. Burch aka "The Loyal Opposition"

The hair flap was truly a scare:
Trump’s bald as a billiard back there!
The whole nation laughed
At the state of his graft;
Now the...

Read More

It was going to be the best Christmas of the most spectacular, magnificent Christmases in the world.
Certainly, the best one we had ever seen, for Grandma Winslet was coming from England which is big.
She used...

Read More

It was going to be the best Christmas of the most spectacular, magnificent Christmases in the world.Certainly, the best one we had ever seen, for Grandma Winslet was coming from England which is big.
She used...

Read More

Weird "fake" news

This pencil necked geek
did hair thru the long grapevine
actually following false tidbit
originated within imagination i.e. mine,
while stationed at Macbook Pro
laptop - time already inching close

to hour of rise and shine
yikes still no bloody...

Read More

A goose in a noose got loose today. At last. At times he had watched as bodies of his fellow feathers had been brought out of the shed having walked in just fine. On the...

Read More

Am I the Assassin 
        or the Undertaker

                   For Palani...

Read More

he took the paintball on one sunken cheek

it hurt to be lopsided but the anger subsided

          the umpire declared the shot out of bounds

  ...

Read More

The new roves are not like the old,
They purvey an unwieldy aspect
To their elderly kindred folk;
Even on this steep hill forms encroach
Upon an edifice grand of bygone grandeur;

 So to ‘Ghurt Muire’ that Jacobean domain
With...

Read More

Compared with us, the kids today
Too little play and too much weigh.
Alone indoors they snack and sit
And buttons hit, while we stayed fit.

We'd quickly chores and homework do,
Then dash through doors to fun pursue,
To basketballs...

Read More

For every action there is a equal and opposite reaction like the striking of billiard balls but when worlds collide souls in twist and become bonded in ways people would never think. Being behind the...

Read More

Unquotable quotes (More Cricketing Jargon) – IV

A « wide » is a ball aimed by the bowler at some absent-  
   minded fielder.
The « silly-point » is the fielding position so close...

Read More

Athletic angels are analytical and archaic. But dust bombs do not derive from red, yellow, blue and purple shimmer shimmers nor do they derive from green, pink and orange glitter glitters. A hesitation of hue...

Read More

Footprints & more Footprints

Footprints

This morning before the sun reached out
Climbing for its place in the heavens day,
I walked outside to greet it, as is my way
On my beautiful lawn were a lot of bumps,

Turned to...

Read More

Who am I? I am not Fred Flintstone, nor am I Billy Goat Gruff,
And I am not Will Shakespeare, nor a Scotsman named MacDuff;
I am not Tom, I am not Dick, and surely am not...

Read More

It’s one of those days when my stomach is pressing against my chest, and my lungs is playing tick tock toe with its own breath. My adrenaline is running a hundred miles marathon per hour...

Read More

I strolled into the room, real casual you see
I took a look around, one of them was guilty
*Bang* an authoritative door slam sounds in my wake
Dramatic sunglasses removal, in their boots, they will shake 

A...

Read More

she got on about three stops after I did 
I was sure she was conversant in ballet 
by the way she danced up the steps 
and delicately deposited her passage 
into the device next to...

Read More

I have ADD.

Having... what I have's like playing billiards*!
I aim my thoughts
like a cue ball at a stripe**
and hit a solid** color...

It wipes me out!  I forfeit my next shot!
My Critic-of-all-dreams does the thinking,...

Read More

I’d been droving for some months now in the harsh drought ridden outback.
Through the stations of East South Australia and along Strzlecki’s track.       
By the time I reached a...

Read More

Oh wow just look at that tower. It is the tower of towels. They are in a queue waiting for the dryer today. The drier is having a manicure so they will all have to...

Read More

Is it any wonder that on a recruit's first day of service he is befuddled?
From day one he's told to do things by the numbers and his brain is muddled!
From the moment he stepped off...

Read More

word string you make my heart sing
you make everything groovy
but I wanna know for sure
the slaver's noose is no sower of truth
and its cohort of prediction
open eyed jumping to no order
because invention is the outcome...

Read More