Best Poop Poems

My turds float like choc’late marshamallows
Just lurking about in the shallows
I guess that my butt
Is truly kaput
So doctor suggests bitter aloes

I questioned such treatment regime
Doc said it may keep my butt clean
Aloe on my finger
Won’t cause me to linger
And floaters will look like whipped cream

Doc...

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A poet - some deem that I’m not
I write about farting and snot
Won’t be driven away
I am here to stay 
Of critics, I don’t give a jot

3/21/19...

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Some numpty bad mouthed my soup style
I’ve taken a break for a while
But I won't be deterred
From writing about turd
And subjects some others deem vile

I’m producing book number two
It contains some poems on poo
Foul flatus departing
Old codgers rank farting
And my pet hate vile doggy doo!
...

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I post my poems on poetry soup
About farting and guys with brewer’s droop
I’ve been given a crown
And I won’t let Flo down  
Be assured I’ll keep on posting my poop!

Posted in conjunction with my blog about my amazing gifts from F J Thomas

25th January...

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Rhymes of Viagra and Poop
Our Jan will serve the real scoop
If fun is your thing
She knows what to bring
Your lips will smile and not droop

She is our humorous Queen
Displays the heart of a teen
She's funny and nice
She adds the right spice
A sweeter girl....I've not seen!!!

So,...

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Looking up into the sky
a bird pooped in my eye
as it was flying overhead
causing me to see red

It was warm and soggy
making me feel queasy
I scurried into the house
like an upset little mouse

I headed for the kitchen sink
and got there in a blink
Using the faucet...

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Behavior perfect
Deep cold snow how can she poop
My small dog Kissy

If my dog could talk
I try to understand her
She drown in the snow







18.01.2016
A-L Andresen :)...

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Poop is a smelly thing
poop is far from clean
when I poop, I poop on the pot
when I poop, I poop a lot
It's big and brown and looks like gravy
gosh it feels like I just had a baby
It's runny and smooshy , and really gross
In my...

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Imagine if our poop was a pretty pink
Or smelled like a dozen red roses
Beautiful music was heard when we tooted
There'd be no need for holding noses

We'd relish the thought of soiling our whites
To show off a new shade of pink
And proud to fart Ludwig's Fifth...

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What if I told you things aren't
what they used to be.

What if I told you clichés
are not always "for the birds"

That the Clichés cling for
a reason and have clung long.

Show me your truth sandwich;
What ingredients did you use?

Smoked lunch meat and cheese
Did you eat that,...

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I once knew a poet named Jan
She writes when sitting on the can
Some people here at soup
Think her poems are poop
Not everyone is a Jan fan!


Contest: Sensitive Community
Sponsor Skat (but a PD contest)
02~24~16...

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She once wrote a poem on POOP,
and one on men's parts that would droop!
Some think she is crass,
but this British lass
on humor has got the REAL SCOOP!!!

For Jan's Limerick Contest
February 21, 2015...

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A poet posted a verse on Soup
Receiving praise from those in the loop
But Vegemite spread
To Cunningham's dread
So Jan reported the latest poop...

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No pushing or breaking of water
It was a c-section that brought her
But this is about
What wouldn’t come out
A poop just as big as my daughter!

Perhaps it was pain medication
To clog up and cause constipation
Nurse said I must show
They won’t let me go
Till poop- there it...

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Dear Jan, I hope you enjoy :)

THE RHYMING QUEEN OF POOP

Jan sits on her throne singing
Ting-a-ling tinkling
Wrapping TP ‘round and ‘round
Hoping solids come unbound

Queen of Poop’s puckered up
But happily she rhymes whilst a back-up
Yet relief emanates with a ka-boom
And an ah-ha whisked away with TP...

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