Best Fat Poems

fat girl cries
big fat tears
splash
crash
down her chubby cheeks
down her pillar like neck
which was once
much like a swan
now gone

fat girl sighs
big fat sigh...
a heart groan of a sigh
from the empty place inside
where beauty's not allowed to reside

fat girl sleeps
a big fat sleep
time obliterated
memories conjugated
into happy streams
peaches...

Continue reading...

My favorite cousin named Marge
is almost as big as a barge.
So one would assume, 
not knowing the groom,
the guy would most likely be large.

But he was a small man named Tim
“As thin as a broom” describes him.
While Marge would guffaw,
Tim would watch her with awe
and...

Continue reading...

Kissing the lips of a fat woman 
Is delicious like Tania 
It feels like sliding on the slippery floor 
But you only will not fall miserably 

Kissing her cheeks feels like sucking an ice cream 
Hugging a fat woman feels like hugging a mattress 
It...

Continue reading...

I am a fat oriole from Baltimore
With baseball cap and baseball mitt
I became a star cause well I could really hit
Made my money, to build my nest
Never grew up, cause I was born with good luck
I am a big fat Oriole I say to you
Now...

Continue reading...

O harlot of colored scarlet hath divided the spoils
The wealthy, well oiled, prophesy uncertainty 
Thee measures of  barley spoil not the oil or wine
heavenly leaven is unmeasured, care to take a wager
A bird in hand of human man, faith is in the bush
O little...

Continue reading...

Fat!    As a kid
Well    I remember fat!
I always thought I was fat because
My brother called me “Pig!”
Pigs are fat    by nature
So I thought    “by nature”    I am a pig

At school...

Continue reading...

Fat Bottomed Girls

I've got a bony backside
And it hurts when I sit down
That's why my mood it fluctuates
From black to dirty brown
So I try sitting at an angle
And try not to make a fuss
And grimace as I shuffle
On my gluteus maximus

So when Freddie Mercury sings...

Continue reading...

The Christmas when  Santa got Fat 

Kris Kringle rubbed his belly; he was feeling really hungry indeed
Mrs Claus had put him on a diet of what he felt was chicken feed
Brussel Sprouts and Lima Beans and lots of Spinach Green
Life’s unfair when you’re Santa...

Continue reading...

Once upon a time there lived a cat

And this cat was much, much, much too fat.

The mice he did ignore.

His treats came from the store.

The mice were safe unless on them he sat.






by Francine Roberts, for Cat Contest...

Continue reading...

What's for dinner?
Poor people
With no fat on their bones
you can eat them 
and eat them.
They're practically fat free

I heard they can make you sick.
Not if you feed them cheese.
One block of cheese,
and they make a fine commodity.

You sure,
my uncle says ya hafta 
dip em first...

Continue reading...

21.

I care not a fat hairy fig
For your task to decimate
And predicate my world
With such villainy and hate.

You evaporate the sunshine.
You bring nigh the distant gloom.
Like a pestiferous browsing parasite
Intent on some impending doom.

Crawl! Crawl away from sight...
I reject all you say and do. Find
Another...

Continue reading...

I see the fact cats getting fatter
I see the poor folk getting weak 
I’m told that somewhere in the  bible
We’re told to turn the other cheek

I see the rich  man on a drug charge
He’s going get a second chance 
 jail a poor...

Continue reading...

Fairies are beautiful, right
Small and cute and sweet
Well, meet the big, fat fairy
with size 9 feet

The others all make fun of me
they glide where i stomp
they twirl and flit and glide away
and all I do is klomp

They wear such pretty dresses
all glittery and bright
I make...

Continue reading...

Narratives or at least that's what I call them
Without doubt win hands down every time
I've deviated with limericks and couplets and stuff
But I'm back to the old poems that rhyme

Very similar to when we go away on vacation
It feels so good to finally get back...

Continue reading...

(Sung To The Song "I Will Always Love You" By Whitney Houston...From the film..The Bodyguard)...(1992)


If you do stay
You'll be tempting me to your way
In the bin you now go
I can't risk having you here everyday

Coz I will want to eat you
I will want to taste...

Continue reading...