Best Auditor Poems
A Dog’s best friend (a Cat)
A Cat’s worst foe (a Rat)
A flying mammal that shows its presence at nights (a Bat)
A deaconess soul-mate her church (Hat)
What a girl cannot do without her (phone)
The muscular structure of your body (bone)
What do kids use to kill birds (stone)
A sound that rings on your cell phone (ringtone)
A feeling that a man and woman share together (love)
A material use by race car driver (glove)
In order to eat, human being cooks on a (stove)
What’s the meaning of this poem, just look at the title stated (above)
In mathematics one plus two equal (three)
Bunches of leaves on a (tree)
An insect that makes honey a (bee)
An angry mob chases after a thief, what should he do? (Flee)
An auditor moves up within the social hierarchy, what is this? (delegation)
The lower class, Middle class and Upper class separate themselves from each other what is this? (segregation)
Buddhism, Hinduism, Rastafarianism, Judaism, Christianity are all (Religion)
Africa , Asia, North America, South America, Europe, Oceania are Continent (Division)
A tradesman never left is (tool)
A educational institution for students to learn (school)
Apart from the beaches, sea or river where else one can swim (pool)
Do you believe writing this poem makes sense, then why waste time reading it
This means you are quite the (fool).
Demeter Edwards
We have made our God eternal,
World without end; Amen.
Whose emissary waits forever,
On the other side of the door.
Moses, Mohammad, Buddha, Christ Jesus,
Pull a Clinton and define eternal.
The most frightening eternal spectre known,
Heaven Bless the poor who attract his attention
The auditor of the IRS....He waits for you.
Forever.
Written for the Eternal Figure contest.
Citizens, rise as one and rejoice,
Taxmas is come, though not by your choice.
April fifteenth, a date so sublime,
great meaning in the term, tax deadline.
Break out the pencils, erasers and paper,
it’s time for another financial caper.
Dust off that box of moldy receipts,
every year your tax routine repeats.
Set aside ethics, social obligation,
it’s time to answer the call of your nation.
Dig deep with a true spirited heart,
each man for himself right from the start.
Bring forth those fictional charity donations,
this is a time for heightened imaginations.
Donations for beer runs surely are fine,
but dollars to strippers may cross the line.
Deductions, exemptions in grand display,
try changing the numbers in every way.
Remember, the IRS is your closest friend,
they will be right by your side to the bitter end.
Fill out the tax form in clearest black ink,
every space filled with whatever you think.
Break out the checkbook; then send your check in,
pray no auditor discovers your sin.
Robert Gene Stoner Jr ©
2/10/16
Acrid thoughts flow from this observer’s savaged mind,
permutations monitored by the auditor
infestation serviced by worldly parasites,
chromatic skin quivers in the shimmering haze
nicotine stained dentine reflex the noon sunlight,
while recorded historic slaughter highlighted.
Redundant talons clasp at a life just stolen
the fallen, amongst the trodden eglantine lay,
proving yet again man the perfect eraser;
yet a deathly silence impales the aftermath
infected only by cries of fidelity,
ghostly images belying their earthly tack,
genetic torment dipped into another’s hate,
alas no chance to make amends for ancient ways!
© Harry J Horsman 2013
To tell or not to tell
that is the question.
If it is better
to take up arms
against tycoons
siphoning blood
from pension funds
or to endure
the wrath of numbers
set on arguing:
To thyself be true
two and two is four
without added
000,000,000,000
Santa Claus bonuses!
Ignoramus adding fives
subtracting nines
to cover up crimes.
Shredding numbers
into the trash
hiding cash,
Pulling number
out of the hat.
Three and three is nine?
Poor numbers
bare to the bones
as unequivocal in truth
as in lying
unlimited by culture
undiminished by time
universal and immortal
can’t be minced
sweetened or doubled
to camouflage a lie.
Ah, if words were like numbers!
Would I be a writer?
First Place Winner in Oliver Mckeithan Contest: The Bard's Birthday-4/28/25
The reason that she didn’t come to my last poetry reading
Was that I had but faintly praised her hat.
It was a monstrous thing which Mrs. Thatcher,
the Queen most certainly, would have shunned.
It was sort of like a jerry-built bird’s nest
Jammed full of something like seaweed,
Yes, like something straight out of a horror film, a “thing.”
My “Er, yuss, rather .. er .. interesting”
Evidently was not good enough.
She stamped her foot,
Picked up her cocktail
And left her corner – in a huff.
My hat! How petty can you get?
Perhaps my not getting too smitten by her hat and all
Had something to do with the fact
That that snooty husband of hers
Never acknowledges me when we meet.
The most joy I can get from him
Is a barely audible grunt.
I’m not petty, just very sensitive.
Quite different.
Maybe I’m just growing cynical. As I see it,
Most ordinary run-of-the-mill individuals
Can’t forgive a slight
More than just once or twice,
Let alone seventy times seventy times,
Like your true saint actually might.
Most folks keep accounts.
Come off it. You know they do,
Of course, they do,
Or a points system,
Except true friends.
But even there
I have my doubts.
True, friends like friendly bank managers
Wouldn’t dream of mentioning your overdraft.
No, they will lean over backwards
To extend generous terms of credit.
There are such things as
Interest-free loans, write-offs,
Grants and gratuities, but
Not even the IMF has limitless funds.
Only the most officious bank clerk
Actually likes bouncing checks,
Allowing no time lag between tit and tat.
But in the longer term
A balance sheet is drawn,
And even a benign auditor
Must draw a line somewhere
Between the troughs and peaks.
The laws of life
audited and penned by life itself
laws, like giving
must, be balanced
by it's receiving end
The laws of taking
is rated by the replacing
as with light is with darkness
or the moon with gravity
and restful activity
The laws of goodness
to be pitted against that of evil
and vanity to be beaten
by humility's bended knees
as pride takes it's fall
The laws of love
will and always overcome hate
and leaves prejudice
with biasness to fumble
at the bottom of the golden gate
It is the laws of the God of all
that cannot be ignored
For the books of life
will be balanced
by the Almighty Auditor Himself
First day on the job, co-worker confides
“Bullies here get rough.
When they call your bluff
you can count on me to stand by your side.”
Conversation thrives;
Contemplation drives
my curiosity to hear out Ben’s mind.
Many issues find our positions aligned.
Can I depend on Ben?
Long story he told, how his parents died.
The story towered,
pity he devoured.
Neighbors had raised him, neglect bona fide.
Imagination
defied foundation.
One colleague verified, “Ben invents the truth;
He lives with his parents still, well past his youth. “
Can I depend on Ben?
Last week, he boasted he’d gotten a raise;
deceit’s his onus.
“Twas just a bonus,
which we all got in a matter of days.
As auditor-clerk
he does top-notch work;
his skill in mathematics amazes me.
Yet how (and why) can he lie so blatantly?
Can I depend on Ben?
I will admit unfair apprehension
which causes me grief.
Could he be a thief?
Don’t want to be a source of contention.
Is lying a crime?
Truth will out in time.
I'm considering his vested point of view;
but cannot count any guarantee as true.
We talk, then I walk away from this yahoo.
Can I depend on Ben?
Fraud makes a fearful friend.
written May 17, 2018
contest: Gregory Barden's Qarinage, Any Topic (new form)
Inner eye now keenly observes obscure corners. There’s
No fooling this steely auditor.
Truths smothered should now be spoken. No more of those
Rhetoric excuses and aspersions.
Out in the open with guilt and confession. I can’t
Shy away anymore from my vices and quirks.
Purging my innards of external stimuli while I
Explain my actions wrapped in a cocoon of myself.
Controlling my mind from wandering distant valleys and oceans, I’m simply
Trusting the unbiased principles imbibed in childhood to be my guide.
Ignoring the urge to cheat and pass with flying colors this
One moral exam I inflict on myself to
Nurture and cleanse my soul.
Written on 06/23/206
When I miss you
I bake the ashes of burnt photos
of you when I've given up lies
I chew memories of you like bittersweet cuds,
mix it up with my tears
to paint the tragedies of a war
that never made it into any history book than our diaries
How our children mourns from the future -
Seeds beautiful to enchant angels away from their first estate!
When I miss you I laden fireflies
with wishes and sonnets from my sighs
and lyric themed with the man you left smashed mercilessly against the door
Do they ever get to you
swinging between stars?
Could your tears be this dew on my roof because they touched your heart?
When I miss you, I price the smallest things that reminds me of you as a goldmine
Misery comes as a stern auditor to account for every tear I stole from your eyes
Evil cackles from 'this-could-have-been-us' leaves me to the hangman within who would not be appeased with diamond blames and golden excuses
When I miss you
I cry, coiled sadly under my blanket
I gnash my teeth
staring at the ruins that fitted well in the mould of paradise
I sit up at midnight to write to hope now too blind to regard letters
I still walk down spots
I saw magic graze in your eyes
and eat up the leftover hays your unicorn left in between the pages of your thriller
holding it proudly to my chest like sacred scriptures
I wish I was not too holy
to have pushed your filth away
when I knew I had so much acidic tears to wash you clean from guilt
I stagger into your arms in my head
when I'm drunk with my favourite beer pouring from my eyes
While I'm stabbed by every note of our favourite song on repeat,
playing softly on the radio.
When you deal with your mother
You touch her like a feather
When you move with your father
Be kind, make him not bother
Let association with your brother
Cause not any kind of bad weather
Your relation with your sister
Must not cause serious blister
You show reverence to priest
And pray to Sun in the East
Depend greatly upon your friend
But, let not your good nature end
Please protect your servant-maid
By arranging for her timely aid
Take care of your watchman
By chalking out a safety plan
Pay kindness to your neighbor
Toward him, no ill-will you harbor
Have full trust in your banker
As he makes prosperity occur
Be considerate to your lawyer
As he saves you from fire
Tell the whole truth to your auditor
Or else law becomes an alligator
Always kindly respect the police
Your problems they will ease
Carefully listen to your teacher
And miss not his golden lecture
With a vendor wage never a war
Depending upon him we all are
Never make anyone your enemy
Believe in my words and trust me.
Highstakes at this one
"Reassetment "
The love event giving
Contenders chances
And oppurtunities. And
Some guys hopping their names
Don't come up in the cluster of five drawing.
You don't have to be in the match to lose
Your title, if your name is drawn in the cluster
Of five you and your divisions title will be
On the line no matter who's name is drawn to represent
Your divisions interest.winner. let's say the auditor draws red cluster ball, those four men who are in the American National division will Represent the American National Championship and the current champion will assume a coaching role, no DQ to assure fairness. Annd if the representive losses the title will change hands,vif he wins he's number one contender his rolevis back by a security guard eam to protect you he wrestlers inerest. Same goes with the tagteam title, pin a tagteam partner and become tagteam champion, or at least half of team champion. It could happen that no u men are pinned and a new formation has developed. Or the member who is drawn on the cluster of five could loss a partners position and recreation e a new team, anything can happen, and better believe these guys aren't happy about this, some of them are, great night for people how like speculation.
. After the matches are thru each winners name goes in the he bucket as red or green car ain't got he Conteste let Champion last man remaining is Trophied and repositions the current standings. Win:win for ambition, not a great night to be a champion.
Our founders used this method to crown
The first World's Champion and World's tagteam
Champions, and the American National Champion
It's rumor that the winner will be named the first ever
"Pride of the People Champion" it just rumor, speculation
Might inspire some of these guys, it will terribly anger others.
You can lose everything you wished to acheive by way
Of someone else's ambition, or lack their of.
Picked up Jane and we're walking to the balcony,
and shown where we'll be sitting as the crowds mose-in,
and there's some excitement 'neath the floor we had left,
sparked favored light applause from one estranged bereft,
we're bemused fetching about well anchored split views,
what fabled then hath waned onto a seasick cruise,
be no mistake of it with drinks, friends do what's best,
hotel days reminisce thanks to Clint' absent guest,
as they all three turned out as definite no show,
with the place still hoping Jane decided to go,
particularly since she got to go to work that night,
lead's A.M. show and luncheon, I'd sleep on-site.
Jane is a night auditor, a night accountant,
close a hotels daily in and out dependent.
Pebble Beach Lodge is a five-star golf course hotel,
be rooms, restaurants, banquets and bars, is the nutshell,
spas, saunas, massage, yoga, thereapeutic and
salons, horseback riding class, pool concession stand,
and yes, golfing lessons as par for the course, please,
they're not free as they're taught by legends--like their fees.
... home tomorrow ...