The Lament of a Black Man

Who am I? Am I even human? What is my place in this world? I am confused, sometimes I do not even feel like a human being. Like a boat in a stormy sea, I aimlessly drift back and forth, And cannot seem to find my direction. I was yanked from my homeland on the continent of Africa. Captured by armed white men in a raid. Then chained with others of my race and escorted to a waiting ship. They forced me on board and put me in the hold. The journey across the Atlantic was a living hell, I experienced hunger, sickness, thirst and barely held on to life. Life in the hold of that ship was like hell in session, It for a time made me mentally insane, but beyond all odds I survived. The ship landed and I was washed down and fed so l could regain my strength. Then one day I was taken to market and sold as a slave to the highest bidder. Thus, began my life in a foreign land as the property of a white slave master. I was beaten, starved, and humiliated as part of the “breaking in process” The goal was to mentally break me and make feel less than a human. Life on the plantation was hard, working in the sun that was hot as hell. With little to eat and barely enough to wear and working for hours on end. It is a miracle that I survived, sometimes I am sorry that I did. Like a thoroughbred horse and pure breed bull, I was prized for my strength, And used to impregnate female slaves on the plantation. Sometimes I was rented out to other slave masters for this very purpose. The goal was to use me to produce as many slaves as strong as myself. I am now free from my physical shackles, but my mind is broken, What am I supposed to do? Where do I go from here? When I tried to pick myself up and live like a man, I was harassed by the people that had enslaved me. Forced to live in a segregated community reminiscent of when I was a slave. Whenever I tried to improve my life, I was sabotaged by those, Who were bent on ensuring that I would not succeed, They burnt crosses in front of my house and threatened my life. When I walked down the streets in town, I was called “” and “Boy” And if I had to ride the bus, I had to sit at the back. To add insult to injury, many times I had to give up my seat to a white person. But despite all this indignity I did not give up. The educational, legal, social, and economic systems are stacked against me, So, I decided to join the peaceful protest in hope of obtaining redress. The police turned their guns, water cannons and dogs on me, And some of the white bystanders shouted, “ go home” What am I supposed to do? If I react with violence, the police will kill me. Or worse, the crowd will lynch me. I am caught between a rock and a hard place. If I go to school, get an education and am lucky to get a good job. I still must endure being harassed by racist cops who stop me for no reason. If I drop out of high school, join a gang, commit crime, and sell and use drugs, I am criticized by my own people and others for being a menace to society, And the police feel they have justification to murder me and rid society of me. So, I feel like I am damned if I do and I am damned if I don’t. I am tired of being an endangered species, targeted for destruction. Those who hate me because I am black want me imprisoned or dead. The man who fathered me is in jail, he was never a part of my life, Who should be my role model? The drug dealer, rapper, superstars? Where do I fit in American society? What is my place in this foreign land? I feel like a refugee without a homeland, unwanted by my country. How should I respond? With violence, hate, peaceful protest? Violence begets violence, hate would keep my mind in prison. Peaceful protest has not worked, I still live in a society that discriminates against me, Where I could be killed while minding my own business by another black man, Or by a racist cop who feels justified in killing me for trumped up reasons. I am sick and tired of this hell I have been living in and need help getting out. It is high time for society to open its eyes and do something about my plight. I cannot do it by myself because I have no power, I am the victim. Americans! show compassion, speak out against injustice and racism! Demand that legislators pass laws and that business and civic leaders act. The time for political posturing is over, I have suffered enough. Hundreds of my fellow black men have been killed. I am handcuffed by a system that is rigged against me, Designed to keep me down and to discourage and frustrate me. But I would not give up, I have come too far and suffered to long. I summon heaven and earth and all men and women of goodwill, To join me in my struggle to break free from my chains, And realize my full God given potential as a liberated Black Man.