Get Your Premium Membership

Packing and Unpacking Pain

Pack his suitcase, say goodbye. Tears don't even reach my eye "Come back safely. Do take care." Then he's gone, and I'm left there Give a smile, and don't complain What's the use? Just bear the pain Hours of empty, voiceless time! Countless trips should be a crime. Time to clean, for he'll be back. All I've left is paltry snack. Home a while then off again It's his job to save from sin Pack his suitcase, then unpack. There's no way to get time back Special times just gone amiss. Rushed goodbyes, and hurried kiss Weeks and months, yes, years go by. Getting old, and soon I'll die When I'm gone I'll be at rest No pack/unpack No empty nest Let another stay behind; someone else he's sure to find, but I know that she'll complain. He won't go to keep her sane I hope one day he'll come to see what he did was cruel to me Lonely days that merged to nights. Sighs and tears... It was not right Too late he'll know he broke my heart. Those trips he took? That time apart? Broke me, killed me, stole my life "Work is second! First is wife!" The simple truth he could not see. Now there's nothing Left of me. Eileen Manassian In way of explanation: both my husband and I work for our church organisation, and he has a leadership role which necessitates travel to the countries in the Middle East and North Africa. He has to travel. It's part of his job description, but it doesn't make it any easier for me, especially since I work full time and am a caregiver to my 88 year old dad who had alzhiemers. If we want to get retirement benefits, we need to keep working for the organisation, so... there is that. I'm just tired of it.. that's all. I've been alone so many times...depression sets in before he travels and while he's away. It's been this way for years. I read him the poem today :(. He knows I'm posting it. To be fair... he's cut down on some of it because of my mental health. There is a spouse allowance for travel, but the timing doesn't coincide with my teaching scedule and I can't leave dad anyway. This is just a angst filled reflection on how it feels to be lonely.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2024




Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Date: 7/10/2024 2:47:00 PM
Somehow this poem reminds me of a song by Roy Orbison..."Only the lonely know the heartaches I've been through, only the lonely know I cry and cry for you". The title of your poem could also have been "Packing & Unpacking Pain"! ~ Stay strong, my friend...Hugs // paul
Login to Reply
Manassian Avatar
Eileen Manassian
Date: 7/10/2024 8:52:00 PM
He leaves in a few hours. Only 4 days this time. Comes back for a few days and then it's for almost two weeks. We have to take out vacations separately because someone has to stay with dad and the 3 cats. Oh well... at least summer school is over. Changed the title. You know how I value your input. Big hugs
Date: 7/9/2024 7:10:00 AM
Dear Eileen, I feel your pain because I too worked for a company that sent me all around the USA. I missed my wife and daughters and they also missed me. I changed my job to stay local so I could have more time. One of Billy Graham’s significant regrets was not spending enough time with his family due to his extensive travel schedule. He acknowledged that his wife, Ruth, and their children paid a heavy price for his frequent absences. - Blessings, My Dear Friend, Daniel
Login to Reply
Manassian Avatar
Eileen Manassian
Date: 7/9/2024 10:44:00 PM
I know.. that's what makes it even harder to understand. Mission for God must first be to family. I'm glad you did what was necessary to safeguard and nurture your loved ones. He's off to another trip tomorrow. I will survive...I think. Blessings
Date: 7/8/2024 7:32:00 PM
The rivers we choose to swim in are sometimes filled with rocks...there's a song in my country, and one of the lines is "True love travels on a gravel road"...good luck, dear poet,
Login to Reply
Manassian Avatar
Eileen Manassian
Date: 7/9/2024 10:42:00 PM
Thanks, Frédéric. I can't survive without him, so I need to take it in my stride. It's so hard sometimes... especially in the Middle East. A woman is very dependent on her man... that's true especially for me. I don't drive here. Drivers are reckless... they don't follow traffic rules so when he's gone... I'm home bound. Anyway... it's my life... my stream. Thanks for visiting. Big hugs
Date: 7/8/2024 12:20:00 PM
great title for this poem, eileen! i love the quick flow of it and how eloquently your message comes across...
Login to Reply
Manassian Avatar
Eileen Manassian
Date: 7/8/2024 4:03:00 PM
Thank you, dear. Always good to get a visit.
Date: 7/8/2024 12:20:00 PM
This is really sad Eileen, sadly some have to work to keep the family going.. its never very simple.. I could feel the angst in your words.. Hopefully he will retire soon and spend more time with you... we all feel lonely in such situations..
Login to Reply
Manassian Avatar
Eileen Manassian
Date: 7/8/2024 4:02:00 PM
Thank you, SO. You are right. He does so much for the family. I just miss him so much when he's gone... I'm just tired of it all. Please read my disclaimer at the end of the poem.
Date: 7/8/2024 11:31:00 AM
No pity for those who put work before family. In all my years I never did more than my eight a day, five a week, sometimes less. Your poem well reflects the irreversible damage that can result
Login to Reply
Woody Avatar
Tom Woody
Date: 7/8/2024 5:07:00 PM
You didn't have the notes up before. Didn't realize this was real life. I always just said no, but I understand some find that difficult
Manassian Avatar
Eileen Manassian
Date: 7/8/2024 4:00:00 PM
Sometimes there's no other choice. It doesn't make the reality any easier to bear. Please read my disclaimer.
Date: 7/8/2024 11:16:00 AM
Hello Elleen Manasslian, i do agree. Hugs. /Darlene/
Login to Reply
De Beaulieu Avatar
Darlene De Beaulieu
Date: 7/8/2024 4:16:00 PM
Hello Elleen, You are welcome.. Hugs. Enjoy your evening my friend. /Darlene/
Manassian Avatar
Eileen Manassian
Date: 7/8/2024 4:00:00 PM
Thanks for the visit. I appreciate it.

Book: Shattered Sighs