My Valentine

I knew I was in danger The day our wedding was When the preacher asked do you take this woman You answered He does We've had a long long marriage and I hope it doesn't end But you should have married Obama Because you both know how to spend The police stopped me in another city Are you lost they wanted to know I told them no, i'm married My wife tells me where to go I took off my ring because You'll never let me be I was perfect until I put it on Then you found a thousand faults with me You were a pain in the house But I thought that it would pass Then I stood with you out into the yard And you were a pain in the grass You wanted a gift with a message For our twentieth anniversary So I bought you a set of luggage What more could you want from me The lobotomy made me happy And I'm still glad you're mine So, on this day of love Will you be my Valentine I know that you don't like my poem But it was all in fun So won't you be my Valentine And put down that freakin' gun.