Home » Poems » Akkina Downing » My Letter To Santa

My Letter To Santa

Dear Santa You see Santa, In just a few days it would have been my brother's 30th birthday Would've been a big celebration Instead I will be spending it alone Lost in all kinds of thoughts and emotions again angry heartbroken crying Missing him even more than you can imagine You see Santa I never said goodbye to him that day I never told him I loved him that day BECAUSE I WASN'T HOME that day My guilt still burn it hurts more than ever Sometimes I wonder if he was mad I wasn't there And that escalate to another level of guilt So Santa What I'm asking you is If you can deliver a message to my brother Please tell him I wish him "a Heavenly happy 30th birthday" And that I love him forever I'm sure he's having a big white Heaven's garden birthday party with all the Angels Tell him I can't wait for when my time is come, we need to have a serious chat about our promises to be the god-parent to each other's kid... what's up with that! Well I'm just as happy I can't ever have kids in this physical world without him being the god-father Santa, Please bring me back a message from my brother I need to hear it... 12-05-17 Contest: Move me and others Sponsored by: Madison Demetros

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Angela Crabtree

Date: 11/26/2020 7:19:00 PM

A very beautiful message you have written here, Akkina. Wishing you a wonderful night, my friend :)

Anisha Dutta

Date: 12/28/2017 11:20:00 PM

So touchy. Surely your message will be carried. Love.

Akkina Downing
Date: 12/29/2017 10:44:00 AM

Thank you so much Anisha! Hugs and smiles :)

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 12/18/2017 5:21:00 PM

Loved what you commented to me down here. I only see these replies if I chance to click on a poem again!!

Andrea Dietrich
Date: 12/23/2017 7:58:00 PM

there is a reply to reply inbox? I will have to see. I didn't know it.

Akkina Downing
Date: 12/18/2017 7:27:00 PM

You can always see comments in your reply inbox... Hugs and smiles :)

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 12/10/2017 8:01:00 PM

This is the kind of Christmas wish we have when we miss someone horribly. I lost mine in 1985. He was still fairly young and I KNOW he is having parties in heaven. Wonderful poem, Akkina

Akkina Downing
Date: 12/11/2017 6:31:00 PM

Oh I'm sure they have nice parties up there. I do have a feeling our brothers are friends too :)

Edward Mccall

Date: 12/9/2017 9:28:00 PM

Hello Kina my dear friend; Your letter to Santa is the most moving one I have ever read. I believe that when we reach heaven that we are filled with all knowledge of our loved ones hearts. That being said I believe your brother knows how much you love and miss him and if he could he would shout down from heaven I love you too. Gentle hugs and warm smiles. :-) Edward.

Akkina Downing
Date: 12/10/2017 6:56:00 AM

You are so sweet Ed, thank you so much. I think you're right, they do. That made me smile :) hugs and smiles :)

Winged Warrior

Date: 12/9/2017 8:33:00 AM

Akkina my dear friend such a sad touching write...but I'm sure your brother has the biggest white smile for you...because where he is now all hearts are open and he knows what's is inside your heart...a supernova of smiles to you my friend...god bless and blessed holidays to your family...^WW^

Akkina Downing
Date: 12/9/2017 9:37:00 AM

^WW^, my dear friend, you're beautiful comment made me smile. Thank you so much! Hugs and smiles :)

James Inman

Date: 12/9/2017 12:54:00 AM

Such a touching write Akkina.

Akkina Downing
Date: 12/9/2017 7:43:00 AM

Thank you James :)

Anne-Lise Andresen

Date: 12/8/2017 2:16:00 PM

- A heartbreaking wish, Akkina - Luck in the contest - Lovely weekend for you :) - hugs // Anne-Lise :)

Akkina Downing
Date: 12/8/2017 2:34:00 PM

Thank you so much Anne... Hugs and smiles :)

Maria Williams

Date: 12/7/2017 10:19:00 PM

My dearest friend my heart goes out to you. I know exactly how you feel and after reading this wonderful poem of yours it made me very emotional, and brought back some sad memories. I was the only one who who didn't get a chance to say goodbye to my mother.

Akkina Downing
Date: 12/8/2017 5:39:00 AM

Aww, I'm so for yours too my dear Maria. And thank you, I you're right he'd want me to be happy. Thanks girlfriend... hugs and smiles :)

Maria Williams
Date: 12/7/2017 10:21:00 PM

But you know Akkina we are the only ones who beat ourselves up. Your brother I'm sure will be looking down on you and wanting you not to worry. Take care my friend and smile...Maria xxx

James Swartz

Date: 12/7/2017 5:14:00 PM

This is one emotional poem. Your words brougt sorrow to me. Maybe he is looking down on you and wishing he could tell you that you should feel no guilt and you should be as happy you can be. I did enjoy this heart wrenching poem Akkina.

Akkina Downing
Date: 12/7/2017 6:47:00 PM

Awe thank you so much my dear friend James. That means a lot to me. I think you're right, he'd be wanting me to stay happy. And I will. Thanks dear! Hugs and smiles :)

Richard Lamoureux

Date: 12/7/2017 5:07:00 PM

A touching emotional piece about your brother. I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Someone told me grief is like being in the ocean and when you try to take another breath you are met by a wave. Eventually the waves lessen but you never know when another will cover you.

Akkina Downing
Date: 12/7/2017 6:41:00 PM

Oh but that is so true. Thank you Richard, very much... hugs and smiles :)

Susan Ashley

Date: 12/7/2017 7:31:00 AM

Oh Kina, your heartfelt and heartrending poem misted my eyes. Your pained and loving emotion expressed is so palpable and soul-stirring. I'm so sorry for the loss of your dearly beloved brother and your beautifully written words sadly strummed my heartstrings. His star in heaven shines on you my dear and lovely friend. Warmest wishes and hugs for you always. ~Susan

Susan Ashley
Date: 12/7/2017 5:34:00 PM

It's a loving and natural thing Kina to feel the mourning of your brother's loss but to also be happy that he's not suffering anymore. Your heart is a beautiful place and I bet he's thrilled to be in it..

Akkina Downing
Date: 12/7/2017 9:37:00 AM

Ah Susan my dear friend, you have no idea how much your sweet and touching comment mean to me. Today was his birthday and I baked a cake for him. I know I should be happy he's not suffering anymore, but I just can't help it... Thank you again my sweet friend... xoxo

Silent One

Date: 12/7/2017 6:00:00 AM

Now I understand why you liked that poem so much, sometimes we never get a chance to say goodbye... Touching poem and a harsh reality of life.. So many lose someone and wished they had done things differently, said something at the time, but we do not know, so it is wrong to blame oneself... Touching and moving poem.. I am sure your brother is smiling down at you from heaven..

Akkina Downing
Date: 12/7/2017 9:29:00 AM

Yes it was exactly why I loved it. I've actually read it a few more times. Thank you so much Silent One, your words helps me today... hugs and smiles :)

Freddie Robinson Jr.

Date: 12/6/2017 9:47:00 PM

A very heartfelt poem, Akkina. I'm sure your brother knew in his heart how much you loved him. Love goes deeper than words unsaid. A touching poem w/a lot of emotional depth. Love and joy always.

Akkina Downing
Date: 12/7/2017 9:30:00 AM

I thank you Freddie, you're touching comment helps me today. Thank you my dear friend... hugs and smiles :)

Tim Smith

Date: 12/6/2017 10:07:00 AM

He is shining down on you Kina...it is a beautiful message

Akkina Downing
Date: 12/6/2017 11:19:00 AM

Thank you so much Tim, that made me smile :) hugs and smiles :)

Vijay Pandit

Date: 12/6/2017 6:46:00 AM

It certainly moved me--your poem is full of love and care--hope you find comfort in heavenly blessings--well done, Akkina--best for a win!

Akkina Downing
Date: 12/6/2017 8:57:00 AM

Thanks so much Vijay, your comment is greatly appreciated. Truly! Hugs and smiles :)

Heidi Sands

Date: 12/6/2017 6:30:00 AM

This is very moving and I can see him having a party with the angels, while knowing how you feel. Take care Akkina :)

Akkina Downing
Date: 12/6/2017 8:49:00 AM

Thank you so much Miss Heidi, that means a lot. Hugs and smiles :)

Arturo Michael

Date: 12/6/2017 5:57:00 AM

A lovely letter...which your brother probably received long before you wrote...All the best Akkina

Akkina Downing
Date: 12/6/2017 6:13:00 AM

I sure hope so, and thank you so much Arturo, that means a lot... hugs and smiles :)

S.Zaynab Kamoonpuri

Date: 12/6/2017 3:25:00 AM

Oh this is said so sweetly touching n moving indeed. Really about a brother? Yes a partying with Angels. Thumbs up. Soo nice to read from u again, hope u will my latest too if it may cheer u.

Akkina Downing
Date: 12/6/2017 5:07:00 AM

Thank you so much... hugs and smiles :)