My Bi-Polar Disorder Part 2
I let this misery and dreariness grow because I was left without a single tulip-beauty trace
I didn't mean to take advantage of you...next time, I will a changed man
Spiraling down all day and night in bottomless bemusement, feeling out of place
Remaining quiet, biting my lips by nervous habit...sweat drips down my face, I know I was defeated from the start, but I still feel like I think I can...I think I can...I think I can...
I'll be doing my thang without you, messing with my head
I'll be doing my thang without worry, but I see my enemy approaching - dread
It's nothing new...I know what I can do
I can run away from it and not place the blame on you
I can't help but mention that you hit me with much force
I let myself lose control, I let myself get out of course
It was partly my fault
I got to bring this quarrel to a halt
You never considered my side of the story
What's your side of your story?
I am all ears..I don't care if it takes for years...
You don't know that you put a spell on me
Why do you act like you're in a hurry?
Are you guilty for throwing upon me your fraction of dissatisfaction?
I do want to thank you for leading me to the direction of correction and affection
You and I do our own thang and take action in what we do best - attempting to pass the test that we somewhat detest
But...why, oh why do you feed off of what's left of me?
I take back what I said before - there's no need to envy someone like you...you're not my cup of coffee
I might get a heart attack because of the words you utter
I don't want to come across as rude, but I'll do my thang and give you space to think things through
Take your time - just don't take forever no offense, you devilish angel unlike any other
You're unpredictable as usual and you still have that fake attitude of gratitude...you're doing a good job at hiding your shameful shade of blue
Afraid to speak up when you are wrapped up in your own world
I have loved you for what seemed like centuries...let your understanding soul be unfurled
------------
Hearing true stories of the past
I'm at home - my heart's racing fast
I can handle stress to a certain degree
But, in the long run, I want to be free...I want to be set free...
I'll just pray to Him to ease the pain that gets me insane - a feeling that makes me run up and down a tree
I've always wanted to hang out with my sister when I was young
But now, I feel like a disaster, turning and spinning like a twister that's gone wrong
Spinning like a top all over a deserted terrain
God has sent the healing rain
To shower upon me...to rinse away the emotional pain...
Being bi-polar isn't the easiest street to tread
You get your head in the clouds and then you collide into the cement...and all you want to do is stay in bed
Oh God Most High,
Why must this misery be shiny as mined gold?
Am I just growing a tad too old? Am I not bold enough to face reality's hold?
Have our relationship grown cold too? How am I managing to live life without a clue?
Why must I be put to test? Should I just leave it to the rest?
I was unresponsive to the situations that struck me daily
I'm just sick of feeling depressed and roaming around hopelessly
I guess I'll just do my thang and leave this place I call Living in the Past
I will give it all my effort and determination and run the race so that the future doesn't pass me by so fast
Copyright © J.W. Earnings | Year Posted 2015
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