In the Shadow of Sunlight

In the Shadow of Sunlight It is one of those glaringly bright days that make your eyes water painfully. You can't see everything at once but in short glimpses and peeks. Between blinks, half an image forms, blurry around the edges. You raise your hand as a shield, squint, lean back and tuck your chin, grimacing. You thought you heard her say your name. Searching in stuttering snatches, Looking in limping lunges… like a slow motion film in staccato strobes. She begins far away but ends close, so close that her form blocks you from the light and you see her as the shadow of sunlight. She is glowing around the edges like a phantom. She is smiling into your eyes for a moment. The relief of sight, of cool darkness, and then gone in a flash of brilliance once again. Balking, you ask her to wait! Wait just a second! Why do your ears depend so much on your eyes? She speaks but without seeing her mouth forming words you're unsure of what she's said…dissipating as she goes anyway until only a whisper. “I love you darling…” And that's when I wake up and remember she is gone. Gone for just over 20 years now. An ache in my stomach and tears prick my sleep swollen eyes. I turn to my side and tuck my hand under the pillow…try to get back to my dream. Sometimes it is the light that blinds us to the truth and darkness that soothes the burn.