Goodbye, My Love

After the snowfall but before the lily blossoms,
you were this woman who left by choice. All natural decisions
made from a place of despair. Darkness consumed you as you
fell into an addiction with expressions of deep sorrow and remorse.
step by step by step,
taking steps-
foot by foot by foot...
Slower than a run, yet faster than a turtle, closer and closer
towards your oblivion. Into mysterious unconsciousness I
whispered...
"goodbye, my love"...as you walked away.
After the spring but before the leaves, I found you drained of energy. Completely exhausted into nothingness, and through it all, you still
loved me. Seems like yesterday we walked side by side;
you
me
the gentle breeze-
You need not ask for forgiveness, sweetheart, it has been granted
long ago, and before you were gone I already whispered...
“goodbye, my love"...as you walked away.
After the sun but before the rain, you tore out the pages from your
favorite book. You wrote it at such a tender age. Too young to
understand, yet too old to make believe. Big brown eyes,
wearing a ball cap on your head.
Smiling while hiding and running while crying.
I couldn't handle this defeated
hopelessness you wore
on your sleeves
with patches
sewn on
to cover up the burn holes...
I sit at your grave once again.
No tears, no laughter, no guilt-
I stood up and whispered...
"GOODBYE, MY LOVE"...as I walked away.
I wrote this during a difficult grieving time in my life. It had been almost 6 years since my sister took her life. She was always saying goodbye, and it was finally time for me to say goodbye and let go of the guilt and sorrow.
There's nothing like losing someone you love to suicide. I couldn't decide which poem to enter today. My sister led me to this poem, I can feel it (that is exactly why I picked it). This was written on my 1 year anniversary here at PS.
Written: September 27, 2016
Copyright © Lu Loo | Year Posted 2016
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