Get Your Premium Membership

Broken Premiere Contest Winner

I wonder about her as I shave suet and place thistle seed down - once again she reveals herself to the corner of my eye a slight movement caught in the slant of a sunray just enough to separate her shy form from leaf litter camouflage I turn to look at her demure and just out of reach - yet she seems to know I feel for her.. I regard her presence for a handful of heartbeats before she hastens away in a certain way head moving forward first then feet catching up ..rustling the earthy rust of gold; fallen maple stars strewn beneath an arborvitae row.. a wing hanging down by her side like a gate with a broken hinge her gateway to freedom gone she’s become a body bound to soft soil - flesh and bones destined to feed the trees of life soon her feathers - like thistle down - will animate aloft weightless in soulful breaths of a swirled November wind.. pearls of muted beauty lost in innocence given back to the skies I wonder about the tender fragility of a tomorrow in an air where mourning coos are watered down by whimsical tears of gods and stirred by a mortal’s yearn for return to natural flight I commiserate with her silently — for I am broken too Susan Ashley November 17, 2020 ~ First Place ~ Premiere Contest: Brian Strand No 1175 Sponsor: Brian Strand ~ Second Place ~ Premiere Contest: 2022 Poetry Marathon Mile 17 Sponsor: Mark Toney

Copyright © | Year Posted 2020




Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

12
Date: 4/20/2024 8:20:00 AM
My dearest Susan - wow! This is a breathtaking piece from your magnificent pen. I’m so glad I visited today to read one of your older masterpieces. This has to be one of the most touching pieces I’ve ever had the privilege of reading. I was struck by every single poetic word and all the compassion felt so beautifully and soulfully deeply for the plight of this dear little bird. It’s such a tender, captivating read from start to finish that only you could compose my poetic heroine.
Login to Reply
Ashley Avatar
Susan Ashley
Date: 4/20/2024 8:49:00 AM
My dearest Christina, soulful and gifted poetess, I am overjoyed by your response to my poem. The beauty of your empathy shines through your feelings, felt and expressed, for the mourning dove. Indeed, this lovely dove found refuge in our back garden, a haven for birds of all kind. She was still very mobile and agile and came to eat the suet and seed I placed on the ground for her. She stayed well hidden and out of reach when not eating and the animal control officer could not locate her. We can only hope that she healed to fly the skies once again. Thank you for sharing in the emotions of this poem with me. Your precious poetic presence ever inspires me and your treasured verse is ever admired. Warmest wishes my dear poetry sister.. ~Susan
Bowring Avatar
Christina Bowring
Date: 4/20/2024 8:38:00 AM
I’m always and shall always be in awe of your artistic talent and what a shining, glittering inspiration you are to me my dear poetic friend. I can only quote every single line as I love every single line as through the tenderness, they still have great impact. The last line really hits. This beauty is so wonderful to recite with the profound commiseration and observations. Magnificent. Hugs and ever an admirer xx
Date: 10/27/2023 11:57:00 PM
An enrichment welcomes my eyes, Susan! Admirable take that creates intimacy for wandering eyes from one line to a wonderous intrigue -- What an ending, my friend! A nice trophy of Brian's contest and a Fave with hearts your way! Aloha, William
Login to Reply
Ashley Avatar
Susan Ashley
Date: 11/2/2023 9:47:00 AM
Dear William, I relish your beautiful comments. Your lovely response to my poem fills me with appreciation. Thank you for sharing your inspiring thoughts with me and for the honor of your fave, my friend. Warmest wishes and Aloha.. ~Susan
Date: 1/28/2023 3:25:00 AM
"a wing hanging down by her side like a gate with a broken hinge".... What a touching portrait you have drawn of her. With such suggestive and penetrating images how you have got into her withering spirit with your laser rays. 'Her gateway to freedom gone'.... It is in the strength of wings that a bird's flight to uncharted lands rests. If it is broken, she is doomed to be tethered to the land. How you have identified yourself to that state.... with the line- 'I too am broken." Your empathy with the broken is so revealing. Congratulations on your stellar win dear Susan....
Login to Reply
Ashley Avatar
Susan Ashley
Date: 1/29/2023 9:34:00 AM
Dearest Valsa, whenever you appear on my page I am filled with gratitude and elation! Your presence brightens my page with the golden glow of your heart and the valued insight of your precious thoughts. Thank you for the delight of your return visit and for your beautiful comments. It is an honor to receive your heartwarming congrats and to share in poetic friendship with you. You are a gifted poetess, my sweet friend, and your wondrous poems are cherished. Warmest wishes and hugs.. ~Susan
Date: 1/27/2023 8:12:00 AM
Susan, your poem is innovative, captivating, and three-dimensional in character. Your poem treated the reader to a glimpse of your imagination, exposing a core of reality surrounding your feelings. Your descriptive wording and relatable imagery bring this piece to life, adding to the charm and depth of this work. Well done, my friend!
Login to Reply
Ashley Avatar
Susan Ashley
Date: 1/29/2023 8:35:00 AM
Dear Emile, your warm presence and beautifully textured comments fill me with joy and gratitude. I can't tell you how much I appreciate your uplifting response to my poem, you inspire me to reach ever higher. Thank you, my gifted poetic friend. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Date: 1/26/2023 11:37:00 PM
Brilliant! An easy fav, dear Susan. I’m overwhelmed. Warmest congratulations on your top win, in Brian’s contest
Login to Reply
Ashley Avatar
Susan Ashley
Date: 1/29/2023 8:31:00 AM
Dear US, I am truly humbled and honored by both your inspiring comments and fav. Your precious thoughts are touching, thank you for sharing, the beauty of your empathy shines from a genuine heart. Warmest wishes, my friend.. ~Susan
Date: 1/26/2023 10:37:00 AM
Dear Susan, you have the unique capacity to depict a mundane interaction with an injured and almost magically, infuse the entire show with great sympathy. Your poetry may be summed up in the last verse. Unbelievable depth and, as always, flawless writing. Congratulations on your we-deserved win.
Login to Reply
Ashley Avatar
Susan Ashley
Date: 1/26/2023 4:45:00 PM
Dear Lasaad, your wonderful presence is welcomed and appreciated. This poem is so very special to me and I relish your response to my poem. Your cherished comments inspire me and lift my spirit to the skies. Thank you, my dear friend. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Date: 1/13/2023 4:56:00 PM
Dear Susan, I just found this beauty. Thank you for caring for our feathered friends. A sad but lovely poem you've penned, dear friend. If you get a chance read my poem "Requiem" from 2020 about a dove. I think we're emotional sisters :) And congrats on POTD!
Login to Reply
Ashley Avatar
Susan Ashley
Date: 1/13/2023 7:58:00 PM
Dear Ann, I relish the embrace of your beautiful comments and kind congrats. Thank you for sharing in the emotions of my poem with me. I just read your exquisite poem "Requiem". The poignant magic of your expressive pen moved me deeply. In gratitude for your suggestion to share in the emotions of your contemplative poem with you. Indeed, we are emotional sisters :)) Warmest wishes
Date: 1/7/2023 8:17:00 PM
Dearest poetry friend and sister, in going through all of Mark's marathon lists just now, I realized I had let this one slip by me. So glad I found it today. I read the following once, twice, three times, and still marvel at the artistry: "animate aloft weightless in soulful breaths of a swirled November wind.. pearls of muted beauty lost in innocence given back to the skies". Ah, swirling that in my wine glass, breathing it in and savoring each sip of that rich Cabernet. You have a magical way of depicting a simple life encounter with a broken creature and blowing your Susan Ashley pixie dust into the diorama, imbuing it with soulful humanity and poetic gravitas. A remarkable ending: "for I am broken too". The empathy shines as a ray of golden sunshine. What a poem and what a poet! Blessed to be your reader, enthusiast, advocate, and poetry friend ~ PoBro
Login to Reply
Ashley Avatar
Susan Ashley
Date: 1/13/2023 6:14:00 PM
My dearest PoBro, my eyes are misted over in response to your breathtaking comments. Your soulful depths never fail to amaze me, leaving me in awe of your refined, profound emotional intelligence. Ah, John, indeed I swirl your rich, elegant, moving thoughts in my glass as well, breathing in and savoring the beauty of your precious words. Let's raise our glasses, a toast to you.. John, you are a cherished friend and a consummate poet, may your exquisite pen forever grace the poetic page and my heart's imagination. My humble gratitude overflows the brim. Warmest wishes and hugs.. ~your PS-PS <3
Date: 11/4/2022 5:53:00 AM
BIG congrats on yet another win for you Susan. The ending line captures the apex of your write. Wonderfully emotive, skillfully delivered, as always.
Login to Reply
Ashley Avatar
Susan Ashley
Date: 11/6/2022 7:46:00 AM
Dear Vijay, it's so wonderful to see you! Thank you for your beautiful comments and big congrats. Indeed, they are heartwarming, especially since I hold your elegant poetry in such high regard. Your presence here is ever appreciated, my friend. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Date: 11/1/2022 6:41:00 PM
What a movingly tender write! A bird with a broken wing is such a tellingly apt metaphor for humanity (one that you also embrace as a wounded self). So many word clusters + images that grab attention like "...her slight movement caught in the slant of a ray" or "...an air where mourning coos." Very fine writing indeed. Many congratulations! Brian
Login to Reply
Ashley Avatar
Susan Ashley
Date: 11/6/2022 7:42:00 AM
Dear Brian, I relish the embracing, soulful beauty of your thoughts. Thank you for sharing in the emotions of this poem with me and for the mention of what grabbed your attention. I'm so pleased to know this poem resonated with you, my friend. Your elegant presence is ever appreciated, your heartwarming congrats as well. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Date: 10/31/2022 6:33:00 AM
Such show of compassion and empathy expressed so softly and sweetly Susan. Congratulations on your win! :)
Login to Reply
Ashley Avatar
Susan Ashley
Date: 11/2/2022 7:59:00 AM
Dear Linda, thank you for your lovely response to my poem. I feel your empathetic embrace for this dove through your words. Your gracious presence is appreciated as are your kind congrats. Warmest wishes, my friend.. ~Susan
Date: 10/27/2022 9:34:00 AM
Dear Susan, the tenderness I mentioned in a reply I recently made to your comment to me is in full evidence in your wonderfully sympathetic lines. To feel such angst and caring for the tiny, injured creature is filled with compassion. Congratulations to you for this fine poetic work being recognized by Mark on his winning list.
Login to Reply
Ashley Avatar
Susan Ashley
Date: 11/2/2022 7:45:00 AM
Dear Lin, thank you for sharing in the poignant emotions of this poem with me. Your empathy shines and your comments touch me deeply. I delight in your gracious visit and your kind congrats. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Date: 10/26/2022 12:38:00 PM
Susan, you show compassion for a bird with a broken wing, and through your lovely words, you enable us to share in such compassion. By your poem's end, you reveal that you are broken too, thus highlighting the fragility of us all. A Fav for me. Congratulations on your second-place podium finish on Mile 17 of my 2022 Poetry Marathon Contest. Keep your running shoes on, because Mile 18 has already started.
Login to Reply
Ashley Avatar
Susan Ashley
Date: 10/28/2022 5:14:00 PM
Dear Mark, I relish your beautiful comments and cherish your fav. Thank you for my poem's placement in your esteemed contest and for your heartwarming congrats. It's a wonderful honor to share the podium with the grand poets on your list. Your sponsorship is ever appreciated. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Date: 10/26/2022 11:25:00 AM
Exquisitely done, Susan, the extreme confines of finely placed words are the most genuine form that is expressed, my poetess friend, my compliments, and Aloha William
Login to Reply
Ashley Avatar
Susan Ashley
Date: 10/28/2022 5:09:00 PM
Aloha William, it's so wonderful to see you! Thank you for your beautiful comments, indeed, they are heartwarming. Your presence here is ever appreciated, my poet friend. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Date: 10/26/2022 10:09:00 AM
My Dearest Rhyme Time Friend, your compassionate heart writes this sad poem - a bird with a broken wing - grounded yet still looking out at the world through pain. Your last line brings us into that realm so effortlessly. I long to gather that injured bird into a place of healing, restoration. You invite us to open our eyes to people with broken wings, gather them in, then admit our own brokeness so we can receive the warm embrace of compassion. Blessings poetry sis! Congratulations!
Login to Reply
Ashley Avatar
Susan Ashley
Date: 10/28/2022 4:58:00 PM
My Dearest Rhyme Time Friend, the beauty of your empathy shines in the spirit of your beautiful comments. How fortunate am I to share in these soulful emotions with such an intuitive and compassionate poetry sis as you? I would say I am very fortunate, indeed! I'm not surprised this poem resonated so strongly with you, my sweet sis, for you have such a generous and tender heart. Your friendship is cherished, Sam. Warmest wishes and hugs sent on the soft swirl of a November sigh.. ~Susan
Date: 4/3/2022 11:02:00 PM
The plight of the bird with broken wings has touched me deeply ! Denied the freedom of the sky, now it is destined to move with dragging feet and drooping wings for sometime. Eventually it will die and turn food to the plants and trees and its molted feathers will fly about like thistle down ! With what deep empathy you have described its plight and how well you analogize your broken state with that of the bird ! A very evocative write, dear Susan
Login to Reply
Ashley Avatar
Susan Ashley
Date: 4/12/2022 10:48:00 AM
Dearest Valsa, the beauty of your empathy radiates through your heartwarming words and shines upon my poem a lovely light of comfort for those who are broken. The emotional depth and breadth of your comments reach me ever so deeply and reflect the sensitive heart and soul within you. Thank you, Valsa, for reading and sharing your precious thoughts with me. They are highly prized, as is your inspiring poetic friendship. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Date: 4/13/2021 12:21:00 AM
We all love. But the love in this poem is divine. Such an emotional writing.
Login to Reply
Ashley Avatar
Susan Ashley
Date: 4/13/2021 4:56:00 PM
Dear Phred, your comments are truly beautiful and touch my heart. Thank you for sharing your precious thoughts with me and for sharing in the emotions of this poem. It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance, I will be by your poetry pages soon. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Date: 3/25/2021 2:26:00 PM
Wow! this is really good--my supreme compliment: I wish I had written it! I was especially impressed by its cadence, its 'natural flow'.
Login to Reply
Ashley Avatar
Susan Ashley
Date: 3/26/2021 9:30:00 AM
Dear L. J., your esteemed presence is welcomed and appreciated. This poem is so very special to me and I relish your response to my poem. Your treasured comments inspire me and lift my spirit to the skies. Thank you, my dear friend. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Date: 12/18/2020 4:52:00 PM
A very emotional write, Susan. Your words express much empathy. Hope you have a great weekend :)
Login to Reply
Ashley Avatar
Susan Ashley
Date: 12/18/2020 5:27:00 PM
My dear friend, thank you for gracing my poem with your beautiful presence and kind words. Your appreciation of this poem expresses much empathy as well, Angie. It broke my heart to see her in such a helpless state, I wish I could have had a chance to save her.. I have saved many injured birds but I just couldn't get close enough to her. I hope you have a wonderful weekend too. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Date: 12/11/2020 10:07:00 PM
Love this type of poem even if the story is sad. It also tells alot about the author. Well done.
Login to Reply
Ashley Avatar
Susan Ashley
Date: 12/12/2020 9:34:00 AM
Thank you Sheri, for sharing in the feelings of this sad poem with me. The beauty of your empathy shines through your tender comments and tells a lot about the reader as well. I'm so glad to share this poetry page with you. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Date: 12/3/2020 10:09:00 AM
Your true empathy shines in this poem Susan - you indeed have a kind warm and sentimental heart, one that sees, feels and hears the creatures and beauty that God created. May you be blessed forever. Hugs and love, Jennifer.
Login to Reply
Ashley Avatar
Susan Ashley
Date: 12/5/2020 10:28:00 AM
My poetry sister, I feel like we nurture and share the warmth of compassion and sentimentality. From across the many miles, Jennifer, the beauty of your empathy touches mine and I relish knowing that we share in the loving reverence for the beauty of Nature and for God's creations. May you be blessed forever, too, my dear friend. Warmest wishes, love and hugs.. ~Susan
Date: 11/25/2020 3:08:00 AM
You inspire and touch the reader's heart, Susan. I love how you treat this subject and how eventually you turn it into an excellent metaphor. A lesson in empathy - with nature, animals and humans. ~ Warm regards & Hugs my friend. // paul
Login to Reply
Ashley Avatar
Susan Ashley
Date: 11/27/2020 11:56:00 AM
I am grateful to know that my poem inspired and touched your heart, dear Paul. Your wonderful heart shines with the gift of empathy and I'm so honored to know you as my friend. Thank you for your deep and rich comments that touch this poet's heart as well. Warmest wishes and hugs, my eloquent friend.. ~Susan
Date: 11/24/2020 7:51:00 AM
This one touched me deeply Susan, it brings so much pain, I can't bear it when I see anyone or anything suffer. I found a dove one time with a broken wing and I nursed it back to health, your words brought me back to that time. Your diction and phraseology are unsurpassed! another fave!
Login to Reply
Ashley Avatar
Susan Ashley
Date: 11/24/2020 12:32:00 PM
John, your tender heart shines with empathy. Thank you for sharing your precious thoughts with me, I cherish them. I'm so glad we were able to share in the emotions of my poem. Thank you for sharing your heartwarming experience with your dove. You truly are sweet, my dear friend. Your friendship, as well the high honor of your fav, is deeply appreciated. Warmest wishes for a Happy Thanksgiving.. ~Susan
Date: 11/24/2020 3:39:00 AM
Very evocative piece dear Susan..I have no words...
Login to Reply
Ashley Avatar
Susan Ashley
Date: 11/24/2020 12:26:00 PM
Your lovely presence here and loss for words speaks volumes, my dear friend. Thank you, JCB, for sharing in the emotions of this poem with me. Your empathy is felt across the many miles. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Date: 11/22/2020 10:07:00 PM
A beautiful poem, Susan. I love birds and I can feel the sadness in your words...
Login to Reply
Ashley Avatar
Susan Ashley
Date: 11/24/2020 12:16:00 PM
The beauty of your empathy shines from your golden heart and onto my poem, Angie. I love birds too, my back garden is like a sanctuary. Thank you for the light you bring. I appreciate being able to share in the emotions of this poem with you, my friend. Thank you, Angie. Warmest wishes for a Happy Thanksgiving.. ~Susan
12

Book: Reflection on the Important Things