A Priceless Gift

At times you made me laugh, Most of the time you made me cry, At times you made me feel, As if i were to die, I didn't want to cope with what was happening with me, I thought you were my hero? , You were ment to be my Daddy, You made me feel unloved, You made me feel unwanted, The only times i seen you, Was when you were drunk, The first time i seen you sober was when i was fifteen, But it was too late then i already had my family, I don't need my so called childhood hero, Thats what i thought of you, But you just pushed me away and didn't believe i was yours, That is the worse feeling and time in my life, Where my own Father would deny i was his child, I used to think i was adopted, I used to question Mam all the time? , I don't really think your a family man, I just think your a bully and a coward, I don't need a Father, I have my Mother, she has been like a Mam & Dad to me, Its wrong she had to play both roles, Thats all i ever wanted was your love and attention, But i felt i never got it i hardly ever saw you, You were either at work or down the pub, The times i did see you, You weren't in the best of states, The things you did, Didn't make me believe, That you loved me or cared for me at all, Daddy it felt like you were never at home, I remember one time, You bought me a present, That one small thing ment more to me than your words, Its as if you hated your family, I now just believe that it can't be put right, You did things out of spite, You say you'd come and visit, I'd get all ready to go, Last minute you would give me a call, You would say you couldn't make it, That you forgot you had plans to go out? , You chose drink over your own daughter, It felt as if you betrayed me, At the end of the day you made your choice, You spoiled it over things you chose over your own daughter, I thought i'd get to know you, But you were still the same person deep down inside of you, You always thought it was the money you could use, But i didn't want that i just wanted you, You were my dad still are to this day, But there isn't a price you could pay to make up for what you've done, You've made me who i am today, The one thing in the world i most wanted from you, It was priceless, But you still had an excuse, Your love and attention, Wouldn't have cost you anything, But as i have said YOU chose the drink.