I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I've ever known.
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Somebody once asked me if I ever went up to the plate trying to hit a home run. I said, 'Sure, every time.'
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Frank doesn’t have to fight in January. There are 12 other months in the year.
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Mickey Mouse to a three-year-old is a six-foot-tall RAT!
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My dad taught me to switch-hit. He and my grandfather, who was left-handed, pitched to me everyday after school in the back yard. I batted lefty against my dad and righty against my granddad.
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I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
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If you're a singer you lose your voice. A baseball player loses his arm. A writer gets more knowledge, and if he's good, the older he gets, the better he writes.
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The white youth of today have begun to react to the fact that the American Way of Life is a fossil of history. What do they care if their old baldheaded and crew-cut elders don't dig their caveman mops? They couldn't care less about the old, stiff-assed honkies who don't like their new dances: Frog, Monkey, Jerk, Swim, Watusi. All they know is that it feels good to swing to way-out body-rhythms instead of dragging across the dance floor like zombies to the dead beat of mind-smothered Mickey Mouse music.
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'It's unbelievable how much you don't know about the game you've been playing all your life.'
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I trained like an animal, but the thing is focus and concentration. When the bell rings it's like when the little red light goes on over the camera. And I can usually nail my lines on the first or second take because I'm right there.
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I was looking for an American symbol. A Coca-Cola bottle or a Mickey Mouse would have been ridiculous, doing anything with the American flag would have been insulting, and Cadillac hub caps were just too uncomfortable. (speaking about the dress she wore made of American Express Cards)
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During my 18 years I came to bat almost 10,000 times. I struck out about 1,700 times and walked maybe 1,800 times. You figure a ballplayer will average about 500 at bats a season. That means I played seven years without ever hitting the ball.
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If they had (the death penalty) and needed somebody to push the button, I'd volunteer to do it to get him out of my life.
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I had it all, and I blew it. (shortly before dying from cancer and other complications of alcoholism)
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Mickey Mouse is a rat.
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If I knew I was going to live this long, I'd have taken better care of myself.
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Arithmetic is being able to count up to twenty without taking off your shoes.
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A lot of people have asked me how short I am. Since my last divorce, I think I'm about $100, 000 short.
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An ignorant person with a bad character is like an unarmed robber, but a learned person with a blog is a robber fully armed.
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You always pass failure on the way to success.
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All I am hoping for is to be able to work-I think my best work is still ahead of me-I think all that I have been through in the last several years have only made me a better, more interesting actor.
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All the fat guys watch me and say to their wives, 'See, there's a fat guy doing okay. Bring me another beer.'
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We'll do all right if we can capitalize on our mistakes.
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Most of us would like to be smarter than we are, stronger than we are, richer than we are, but we don't feel all that comfortable with people who are.
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Always get married in the morning. That way if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted the whole day.
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Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted a whole day.
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I buy women shoes and they use them to walk away from me.
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Never give a party if you will be the most interesting person there.
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Just being around these men and women and seeing what they're doing for all of us so we can sleep a little better.
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