My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man
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Bagman is not a legitimate career choice
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Wedgies are unhealthy for children and other living things
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I will not spin the turtle
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Beans are neither fruit nor musical
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Garlic gum is not funny
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Coffee is not for kids
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Bewitched does not promote Satanism
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I will not Xerox my butt
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I am not a dentist
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I will not go near the kindergarten turtle
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Funny noises are not funny
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I am not a lean mean spitting machine
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Bart Bucks are not legal tender
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I am not authorized to fire substitute teachers
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High explosives and school don't mix
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All work and no play makes Bart a dull boy
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I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty
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Indian burns are not our cultural heritage
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Five days is not too long to wait for a gun
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I will not prescribe medication
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I will not call my teacher 'Hot Cakes'
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I do not have diplomatic immunity
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Goldfish don't bounce
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I will not sell miracle cures
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Mud is not one of the 4 food groups
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I will not strut around like I own the place
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Cursive writing does not mean what I think it does
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A burp is not an answer
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I am not a 32 year old woman
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