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Best Poems Written by Greg Hoffman

Below are the all-time best Greg Hoffman poems as chosen by PoetrySoup members

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Chicago Style

Golden brown and hot to the touch
One person could never eat that much
Thick as a brick and perfectly round
A more beautiful sight may never be found

Heaven on earth from the very first bite
It's also a veritable olfactory delight
You have to eat this beast with a knife and fork
It's not like the pizza you get in New York

So many toppings,just add as you please
One ingredient not found here...goat cheese
Eat til your busting,that's part of the fun
It always helps,if you belch when your done

One thing you must do before you die
Try a Chicago deep dish pizza pie

7/5/2014

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The Tunnel-Visual 1

Doubt hangs
On shadows still
Despair lingers on leaves
Beyond the path is sanity
Waiting


Originally

Contest-All American Beauty
Prompt-Visual 1
Date-1/11/2015
Sponsor-Andrea Dietrich


Contest: 15
Sponsored by: Casarah Nance

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Good Clean Fun

Kids taking a bath
Guaranteed to make you laugh
Underwater farts

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Love Biscuits

Walking the yard with shovel in hand
Cruising back and forth just as planned
Trying to pick up every last pile
If the wife steps in one she gets hostile

Didn't think this through from the start
Three dogs are great but this from the heart
Of the many jobs you have to do
The dirtiest of all is picking up poo

Dogs are creative with their poo
Over the years I've seen a few
So here are a couple of the best
Not enough room to list the rest

The Walking poo is always a trip
Spreads out in one long strip
Why can't they be still and squat
Could they please stay in one spot

Elephant poo is a surprise when found
This mammoth pile weighs about a pound
It really stands out above them all
Quite a feat because my dogs are small

If you have a party here is a tip
Be careful with the onion dip
Dogs really like that goo
But it leads to Diarrhea poo

Purple is a color you don't want to find
It's hard to get this one out of your mind
The Hide and Seek poo will keep you busy when done
Searching to find what's been eaten,what fun

From Kalamazoo to Timbuktu
Nothing is like the Houdini poo
Now you see it now you don't
Keep your eyes on it, this one will float

Winter cleanup can sometimes be hard
Snow after snow just covers the yard
Making layers upon layers of Icicle poo
Remember the horror of the thaw of '02

Just when you think the job is over
One more little gift from Rover
What's that on the bottom of your shoe
Nothing but a piece of Camouflage poo

If you have dogs this is nothing new
I'm just really tired of picking up poo


Contest: Everyone Poops
Sponsored by: Roy Jerden
Written by:Greg Hoffman  8/20/2015

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Wired Wrong

Head hurts horrendously
Thundered thoughts throb
Manic mind melts
Bizarre brainwaves beckoning 
Whatever wanders wayward
Furiously fueling falsehoods
Deepening demented delusions


Alliteration contest/Dr.Ram Mehta
7/07/2014
By:Greg Hoffman

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Different Flames

Different Flames

Remembering when I was bold
Hard to believe we got this old
The flames from fire,warm us tonight

It started with a friendly wink
Fueled by courage from my drink
The flames of passion,burning bright

Laying together in our bed
Nothing really needs to be said
The flames of life,drift out of sight




LIGHT A FLAME! Contest/Nette Onclaud
by Greg Hoffman
6/13/2014

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Finding a New Friend

Teddiboo was trifling and trifling so
He just kept wandering to and fro
His barber Mr. Smith had grown old and gray
Mr. Smith had just moved far far away

Teddiboo was a Spaazzoozle and don't you know
His hair would just grow and grow and grow
For a Spaazzoozle he wasn't to tall or scary
But Teddiboo was very hairy hairy hairy
Curly Q squiggles of yellow and red
Boy what a mess it made when he shed

His hair was dragging all over the ground
But alas, no barber could be found
With the party but a few hours away
He needed a haircut, he needed one today

Not a lot of people would know what to do
Asked by a Spaazzoozle for a haircut, would you
You need to have just the right kind of tools
Or your customers would all look like fools
Not only do you need really really big scissors
You also need skizzors and slizzors and swizzors

So off he went on his new mission
He was suffering from a hair condition
But this above all else was a must
He had to find someone he could trust
Teddiboo was as lovie as lovie could be
He would love you, he would love me

The he saw a big sign, could it be
Today only Spaazzoozle haircuts are free free free
So he ran and he ran fast down the street
Did you know that Spaazzoozzle's have tiny feet
With his big pillow hands he pushed open the door
And saw piles and piles of hair on the floor

The barber looked up and said,"no more haircuts I'm through
I've got far to much cleaning up to do."
Teddiboo pleaded,just one more haircut today
Then I promise I will jump up and go away
I've got money to pay, to pay you today
I will pay you this day with money I say

Go away? You will pay? the barber said with a stare
If you would sir please go sit in my chair
My name is barber Bill, how do you do
I will do one more haircut today, and I'll do it for you
Bowing his head he said "I am Teddiboo"
You are very kind sir and a big thank you to you

Barber Bill had really really big scissors
He also had Skizzors and Slizzors and Swizzors
And clippers and dippers, hair flippers and floppers
But most of all he had tippy tip toppers
With a flick of his wrist the hair started flying
He was cutting so fast, without even trying

He was just as nice as nice could be
Cutting and combing and talking with glee
That's the same thing Mr. Smith would do
When you get a haircut, does the barber talk to you?
Then he stopped and looked, was something not right
He reached in a cabinet and grabbed his hair light

Stepping back he squinted then said with a smile
I think I've created a new sensational style
With your Curly Q squiggles of yellow and red
This is the best hair I've ever cut, he said
It will make the cover of Hairdos Who's Who
And I will call it The Teddiboo Doo

Then he picked up his broom and gave a wink
As he swept and swept the piles of hair started to shrink
All the while he was whistling a little tune
He looked up and said,"please come back real soon"
It was very nice to meet you and with a grin
You better hurry the party is about to begin

Walking into The Jazgigglegaloon was a thrill
All made possible by his new friend barber Bill

                                                     THE END



Contest: Childrens Story,Dr Seuss Style
Sponsored by:Casarah Nance
Written 8/26/15

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Mashed Taters

Mashed Taters

Creamy buttery goodness drenched in thick meaty gravy, yum

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One Day's Magic

Magic for a day
A gift or a curse
Would it help anything
Or just make it worse

With so many options
Of what you could do
As I started to think
I wrote down a few

World peace,my first thought
A day without a fight
The problem is people
Never seem to get it right

The hunger problem won't change
By magic or tricks
Food for only one day
More tease,than a fix

Governments and religions
Just to big a mess
They are what they are
No more or no less

So smaller in scale
I started to think
What could I do
That wouldn't stink

Write a great novel
That may never be read
But will be appreciated and loved
Long after I'm dead

Dance like Baryshnikov or Kelly
Now that would be sweet
But all the world's magic
Couldn't fix my two left feet

Maybe travel somewhere far
No reservations required
But I'd have so little time
And be left only tired

To sleep,oh yes sleep

Like a newborn baby
That's what I'd choose
No worries in the world
Just lay there and snooze

Curled up tight
In a nice little ball
No thoughts in my head
Really nothing at all

Be covered and warm
As a fresh piece of toast
Twenty four hours of this
I'd like that the most


One Day's Magic Contest/Freddie Vee
by Greg Hoffman
6/28/2014

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Autumn Stroll

Crisp winds
Her cheeks blown red
She snuggles close for warmth
A long walk among falling leaves
Perfect

Contest: Autumn Stroll Cinquain Form
Sponsor: Eve Roper
Written: 10/21/2015