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You and I

Down in the depths of your beating heart, I have felt a change in rhythm, Twist so hard for you and I , Stranded in the midst of , The good and the bad, We the dreamers, Lost a count , Of a , Breath.

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Andrea Dietrich

Date: 4/2/2024 1:23:00 PM

I love etheree and the nonet, just one line shorter. Great metaphor and end line: missing the count of a breath.

Aurore Severo

Date: 2/26/2024 9:18:00 PM

Beautiful poetry :)

John Gondolf

Date: 1/5/2024 10:18:00 AM

I enjoyed your nicely penned poignant Nonet, Aura.

Victor Buhagiar

Date: 1/2/2024 1:40:00 AM

Lovely nonet. Hope we will be friends, after my illness. A Happy New Year.

Mystic Rose Rose

Date: 1/1/2024 4:32:00 AM

wow this is so so profound, love it a fav

Hiya Sharma

Date: 12/31/2023 11:48:00 PM

Oh my, this is such a gorgeous nonet, dear Aura.. I love the depth that it conveys, so delicately and flowing ever so gently with elegance.. "We the dreamers, lost a count of a breath".. Gosh just so amazing. Keep shining and writing, sending love & light to you :)

Craig Cornish

Date: 12/16/2023 12:25:00 PM

These are difficult to write without feeling stilted - I don't like these forms because of the effort required to accomplish that, but you have here, and achieved that depth without burdening your purpose with superfluous adverbs - and the ending is perfect - well done!