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Winter Blues

As the icicle freezes to the point of dripped ice mimicking my life Frozen in this time, yes I may look fine but it's very cold inside My heart that is, it is so desolate, empty caverns of unwillingness Never again but every winter I relive it the same over and over again Covered up in the reflection of my soul, this season buries me I have nowhere to go....but here...with my frozen drops of tears Trying to come to terms with life without you near, 5 long years And still I torture myself, freezing in this Hell for what I have done For all I could never become...for you...with you...because of you I still wrap your blankey around my legs, it's you keeping me warm I wish I could've kept you safe instead I just let you melt away Melt away with all the rest of the winter, snow, and rain, all of my pain It all remains and I feel it in every winter ache, that I willfully take Not for you but because of you, the punishment of one's self Or at least what is left of him after the ice cracked then chipped Was it really an accident, we were fighting then, I didn't mean it But it happened, you did exactly what I said, my last words then Before you turned away and left, "I hope the ice cracks and you fall in" I swear I didn't mean it, but it happened and I will never forgive me For that being...the very last words that you ever, ever heard... As more icicles freeze down the cheek still crying my winter pain... 01/06/18 Written for Contest: "Winter Blues" Hosted by: Laura Loo WON 2ND PLACE IN CONTEST RESULTS