Why I Say What I Say

You ask me why I say the things I say, maybe it was because of a feeling that I had that day. You ask me why you say the things you say, maybe it was because of your unwillingness to feel. To feel my pain because at the time you running all the game. My threats are just what they are because it doesn’t matter no way because the distance between us is just that far. I said I would not let you see the part which grows inside of me, and you ask why I say what I say. I say no to letting you play the part of being my child's best friend because my child is needing a father, not a fairweather friend. You ask me why I say the things I say, maybe I was feeling down that day because you decided to step away. If you can truly walk away from me, with this precious being growing within me, then who in the hell gave you the privilege now to cast any judgments upon me? Only God can play that part. Maybe how I feel is wrong, or maybe I'm right, or maybe I am doing this just out of spite. Maybe if you consider, that if I walked away from you, would you be singing this same tune? Maybe if I walked away from you, my interracial, white/black man, then you would understand just why I say the things I say, because I would be running this show, and letting everyone know who has the balls in their hands, and all you can do is withstand. Withstand the I say and do every day and not even caring once if it makes you feel a particular way. But yet you are asking me, why in the hell are my feelings running free, maybe it's because you decided to abandon, and leave baby and me!