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When the Rain Comes

When the rain comes in blunt despair With swords of Thor's thunderous wield The clouds drape darkness everywhere As light surrendered, as hope kneeled Where desolated gloom revealed A drab landscape that once was fair Limbs barren in deserted fields When the rain comes in blunt despair Drowning sunsets in silver flares Tomorrow's rainbows lie concealed In mazes of charcoal nightmares With swords of Thor's thunderous wield This is where all your heroes yield To stars laden in disrepair Where souls sink, murky and congealed The clouds drape darkness everywhere When suns are lost and moons are rare The mornings cut apart and peeled The sky is strangely unaware As light surrendered, as hope kneeled When shelter remains unrevealed And the horizon appears bare Allow me to become your shield Against the snare of sharpened air When the rain comes 3/11/23

Copyright © | Year Posted 2023




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Date: 11/7/2023 3:17:00 AM
Michelle ….This is such an impressive piece with a beautiful flow of descriptive lines. You really nailed this form in style. Best, SuZ
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Date: 3/25/2023 1:47:00 PM
Wow! Michelle, You penned such a good poem for the contest. It flows well and the imagery is amazing. You made it look easy, I know firsthand that's it not. Best wishes in the contest:-) Alexis
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Michelle Faulkner
Date: 4/6/2023 10:38:00 AM
Thank you very much Alexis
Date: 3/25/2023 3:42:00 AM
wow one of your best Michelle. You are skillful at this form, "This is where all your heroes yield" amazing words like magic they appear to make me feel. Gl in the contest, :)
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Michelle Faulkner
Date: 3/25/2023 7:41:00 AM
I am very flattered and honored, thank you again for your encouraging words~
Date: 3/24/2023 3:46:00 PM
This is so lovely, Michelle, particularly "as light surrendered, as hope kneeled. Also "when suns are lost and moons are rare." This seemed like a really difficult form when I read the contest. You make it seem effortless. Best of luck!
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Michelle Faulkner
Date: 3/24/2023 8:42:00 PM
Thank you again, Ann, you had commented on this one before but am always glad for seconds :)
Date: 3/21/2023 10:09:00 AM
This is fantastic Michelle, your repeating lines are flawless, looks like a win to me, great poem !
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Michelle Faulkner
Date: 3/22/2023 10:36:00 AM
I am so flattered, thank you for your comment-
Date: 3/18/2023 7:07:00 AM
This is such a fascinating poetry form. I'm amazed by it frankly, the way you carried the rhyme scheme like that. Extremely gifted writer here.
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Michelle Faulkner
Date: 3/19/2023 5:09:00 PM
Thank you very much, Nancy, I appreciate your kind words~
Date: 3/17/2023 9:45:00 PM
I admire the craft work here, the repeating lines woven into the narrative and all those endings with only two rhymes, wow. But you are especially grand at creating original phrasing, "in blunt despair", "as hope kneeled", "the snare of sharpened air", plus the three Laura mentioned. Also the allusion to Thor. Really fabulous word painting, my friend. A Fav ~ John
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Michelle Faulkner
Date: 3/19/2023 5:08:00 PM
Yes this form can be a challenge but also rewarding, (thank goodness for rhymezone!) Actually the line with Thor was the trickeist to get right, thank you as always for your supportive comments, and also the fave :)
Date: 3/17/2023 12:44:00 PM
You set the mood and imagery so masterfully in your poetic phrases, Michelle…”drowning sunsets in silver flames” “stars laden in disrepair” “mornings cut apart and peeled”! I am in awe of your creativity! This one deserves top placement in the contest! :)
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Michelle Faulkner
Date: 3/19/2023 5:06:00 PM
I am flattered, thank you so much, Laura
Date: 3/16/2023 7:10:00 PM
A brilliant poem, Michelle, flows so smoothly, "as light surrendered, as hope kneeled" - awesome imagery and personification:)
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Michelle Faulkner
Date: 3/17/2023 7:33:00 AM
Thank you kindly, Jo, appeciate it
Date: 3/11/2023 6:39:00 PM
A fine poem, Michelle... Adding my two cents: When the rain comes, let me be indoors, please... Have a blessed Sunday and a Happy Week! ~ Gershon
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Michelle Faulkner
Date: 3/11/2023 9:44:00 PM
Yes that's the best place to be, thanks so much gw
Date: 3/11/2023 11:58:00 AM
Splendidly done in this hard to execute form, Michelle. Great imagery dwelling in emotions. No doubt a winner.
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Michelle Faulkner
Date: 3/11/2023 1:42:00 PM
I appreciate your kind words, thank you Vijay
Date: 3/11/2023 10:41:00 AM
exceptional poetry...
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Michelle Faulkner
Date: 3/11/2023 1:41:00 PM
Thank you very much, Pashang
Date: 3/11/2023 8:39:00 AM
Michelle, Your poem is incredibly beautiful! So strong and metaphorical. You chose such a difficult form (at least to me) and wrote it perfectly. Good luck in contest (I bet it wins) :)
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Michelle Faulkner
Date: 3/11/2023 8:47:00 AM
Thank you so much, Ann, this one took some time to come together, I am glad you liked it~

Book: Shattered Sighs