To Everyone a Goodnight

Well they are here again Knocking on my door Monopolizing my television Decorating my neighbors homes Blitzing me at every store And corner in every city and hamlet Between here and Buzzard Beak, Idaho. It’s like a virus A pandemic Santa Claus is coming to town Well I’ve been bad, very bad And if that bastard shows up at my house He ain’t getting cookies and milk I’m been talking to Jesus and he tells me That Santa is a fake, a sham, a trick on the poor people He’s just a way to make the rich richer and poor poorer So I ask Jesus “Why do you let this happen?” And he smiles and tells me a long story about faith and forgotten dreams. Then he fades back into the egg nog and I sleep with the devil. Fitful dreams and reindeer back strap for breakfast I eat the fake snow and regurgitate the Christmas balls Burn the tree and bury the trimmings The fat man can’t intimidate me.