The Unwanted Cup

I saw you there in my inebriated cup with downcast eyes beseeching but took to it anyway. It called to me, moved naked as one lady in the Gentleman’s Club did,as she poured a drink on her naked breast. And I drank greedily as I talked to her about the places I’d travel and museums and art I’d find in various places. Waking up on the floor alone in a puddle of urine and vomit I had plastered to my lips, face and front of my shirt. The cup was all that was left as I took the blade and sliced the vein needed to keep memories of our life together and blood flowed as I waited. Waiting is all I had left so I did it proper. Warmth and colors spinning around inside my brain as I saw God holding me. Waking ,I see the cup filled , and I light a Cigarette and as the smoke lifts I call your name breathlessly waiting and … There is my wife and driving my car into the Atlantic Ocean in Ft. Lauderdale,Fla. She was laughing as I screamed and watch as she takes a shot of some alcohol. Waking I realize I’m still clean and none of this happened but a dream. I get up and have coffee and smoke a Cigarette and as the smoke twirls and I drink my coffee I make my way to the morning ritual and as I pass the mirror I see the Ft. Lauderdale shirt hanging listlessly on the man looking astonished at me…