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The Sun In the Square

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Originally published: 21st June 2020

Edited and republished 20th April 2022

Image by MJ Jin from Pixabay

one waiter ten tables a sunshade and chair a small cup strong coffee the sun in the square. the fountain a church door the white heat and glare graffitti neat flowers the sun in the square. a slight breeze a pigeon a clock chime somewhere a small dish one euro the sun in the square.

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Susan Ashley

Date: 2/6/2023 8:36:00 AM

Dear Gary, I adore the syllable structure for a crisp cadence and the monorhyme rhyme scheme. Your gifted pen captures the charming village scene with vivid, intimate and potent brevity. The magic of your strong imagery easily brings me to the center of this lovely scene. Congratulations for your excellent win in Brian's contest. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Gary Radice
Date: 3/20/2023 11:29:00 PM

Hi Susan. Apologies - I've just come across your wonderful words today. Not sure how I missed them until now. Thanks so much for your continued support. Cheers - Gary

Anne-Lise Andresen

Date: 2/4/2023 11:07:00 AM

- A lovely place to enjoy a cup of coffee - Congratulations on your win, Gary :) - hugs

Gary Radice
Date: 2/5/2023 12:16:00 PM

It was Anne-Lise. It was a lovely cup of coffee too. :) Cheers - Gary

Janice Canerdy

Date: 2/4/2023 10:19:00 AM

A huge CONGRATS on your well-deserved win, Gary~~great descriptions! Janice

Gary Radice
Date: 2/5/2023 12:15:00 PM

Thanks Janice! It was written in just one of those moments and the descriptions wrote themselves. Cheers - Gary

Brian Sambourne

Date: 4/30/2022 8:17:00 PM

There is power in brevity. Your piece is image strong and speaks to village serenity + its charity. Congratulations! Brian

Gary Radice
Date: 5/1/2022 2:03:00 AM

Thanks Brian. Appreciated. Yes, that old addage that 'less is more' certainly applies to this poem. It sounds cliched but this is one of those poems that wrote itself. The lines were all around me. Cheers - Gary

Andrew John

Date: 4/23/2022 2:41:00 AM

Lovely description, G. Enjoyed this.

Gary Radice
Date: 4/23/2022 4:01:00 AM

Thank you Andrew. Cheers - Gary

Susan Lawrence

Date: 4/22/2022 7:17:00 PM

Gary, So visual … descriptive of a place and time . A slice of reality . A moment in the sunlight . Love it ! Strong coffee too ! Cheers, Susan :)

Gary Radice
Date: 4/23/2022 1:14:00 AM

Hi Susan. Yes..always strong coffee :) Cheers - Gary

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 4/22/2022 4:08:00 PM

oh wow, I love this poetry style. I need to remember this form you used. Maybe do a contest one day using it!!

Gary Radice
Date: 4/23/2022 1:17:00 AM

Thanks Andrea. The poem was originally going to be called "Notes on a Napkin" - That sums up the form to me :) Cheers - Gary

Joanna Daniel

Date: 4/21/2022 4:14:00 AM

I like this style, a kind of impromptu verse, Gary, awesome writing:)

Gary Radice
Date: 4/21/2022 9:43:00 AM

Thanks Jo. This was a one off poem in regards to its style but I like the way this form can describe so much in so few words. Due to all the excellent feedback I may now attempt to write another poem in the same style again. Cheers - Gary

Anselmo Boles

Date: 4/20/2022 2:42:00 PM

Reminiscent of my awesome wanderings and coffee treks ending up at charming sidewalk cafes all over Europe. It's a quaint picture you painted here which brought back fond memories Gary! Thanks...ab

Gary Radice
Date: 4/21/2022 3:18:00 AM

Hi Anselmo Thank you for your lovely comments. Cheers - Gary

Sam Kauffman

Date: 4/20/2022 9:44:00 AM

Gary, I feel like I have just seen a travelogue of Spain, Italy or Greece! This is like a peaceful morning at a sidewalk cafe. The simplicity and clean expression in your lines really highlights that sense of serenity. Lovely poem! Thanks for posting!

Gary Radice
Date: 4/21/2022 3:16:00 AM

Hi Sam - Thank you. Yes, serenity. Some other place. Some other world. Some other time. Cheers and read you soon. Gary

Tom Cunningham

Date: 4/20/2022 9:08:00 AM

You paint a very tranquil scene with your words Gary, hope you are keeping well. Tom

Gary Radice
Date: 4/21/2022 3:12:00 AM

Hi Tom. It was a very tranquil, hot day. How on earth the locals could go about their business in suits and not look hot just beggars belief. Cheers - Gary

Jeff Kyser

Date: 4/20/2022 8:19:00 AM

I like much // what you did // in that poem there..

Gary Radice
Date: 4/21/2022 3:10:00 AM

Hi Jeff :) Thanks so much for your comments. The poem is a little different in style to what I usually attempt so I'm glad you like it. Cheers - Gary

L Milton Hankins

Date: 4/20/2022 7:46:00 AM

Simple and simply beautiful. It reminded me so much of sitting at an outdoor cafe in Paris close to the opera house. Thanks, Gary. Nice writing.

Gary Radice
Date: 4/21/2022 3:08:00 AM

Thanks Milt. Yes! Appreciated. I'm glad you state 'simple' because that's exactly what I wanted from the poem - The form helped me to remember what I observed from an outside cafe seat on a very hot day in Kotor, Montenegro and helped give the poem some atmosphere Cheers - Gary