The Search

This should be read as though sung as a Country Western song I searched the junk food aisle And the basin of a bowl (looked real, real hard there) I learned that the whiskey bottle beer glass wine cask all lead to a big ol empty hole (took more than twenty five years to figure that one on account of being wasted much of that time) I didn’t find too much in College (though I met my wife and some of the best people I’ve known and had the time of my life, so it’s a good stop to make if you filter out all BS and learn things like how to think, write and research. And then that’s all you need, unless you want to be a doctor or lawyer, grad school is usually a very expensive scam) Or a big career (this is the granddaddy lie of them all, maybe I’ll give this one it’s own special song one day) Or listening to the politicians Tell me what I want to hear (like if we don’t fight them over there, we’ll have to fight them over here. Lord forgive me my youthful ignorance. ) I thought I might find it in God’s house In a front row Catholic Church pew (was something there alright but damned if I could ever understand what it was) And I now know if it’s anywhere It damn sure ain’t on Fox News (or CNN or even NPR, apologies to my friends back in Madison, Wisconsin) I don’t matter that I get there It only matters that I go I might never have the answers It’s the search the saves my soul Now let me tell you a little of what I have found so far.. It’s in my little cousin’s smile And my wife’s embrace (that’s a PG phrase that might also mean lovin’, you know) In a southwest Florida sunset And the memory of my Mama’s face (and Daddy and Grandmas and Grandpa’s, God keep all their souls until we meet again) It’s in the pages of the gospels (Jesus himself seemed to have a pretty good idea about where to aim your heart) And in Dostoevsky too (and in the Upanishads, and Henry David Thoreau, though all due respect to him I had a hell of time getting through his book) It’s talking baseball with my best friend And writing songs to you (neither one of which I do often enough) It’s in Beethoven’s music (or Bob Dylan’s, or Kacey Musgraves’) And in my dog’s eyes (oh to trade places with her for a day and life the Queen’s own life!) These are places where I’ve found some Truth among so many lies (like the ones at the beginning of the song) And this is probably the single clearest truth the search has yielded thus far, and the one thing I try to remember now every single minute of every day for however long I’ll still be walking this Earth, and that is… It don’t matter that I get there It only matters that I go I might never have the answers It’s the search saves my soul 11/28/22