The Love and Lost Quartet - Part Four - Closure

i treated your loss just like death grieving for you as i did my mother i still wonder if the universe wasn't teaching me a lesson in karma for you were a personification of heaven which surely meant there would be hell to pay for a year i tried to drown you out with illegal drugs and spirits something to wipe away the memories numb the gut wrenching pain and to quiet the nightmares that made me fearful of sleep you still remain after my previous endeavors failed i sought out pleasurable company calling on old acquiantances and admirers of our once shared love dull, boring, lacking in every sense and that is putting it mildly then that lonely august afternoon an unexpected surprise chiming from within my apartment your tender voice on the other end everything rushing back my soul revitalized your freshman year in your rearview returning home to gather creature comforts inviting me for a ride along to arizona after all others had declined i hesitated thinking it a bad idea but knew the courage it must've took to ask hey danny, do you remember sleeping in the cab of your truck at that shady looking truck stop just over the new mexico state line you nestled up in my arms sleeping just like old times i remember climbing with you through the catalina shadows chasing roses instead of lilacs jumping over chasms eating prickly pears and showering in the springs three days i spent in your bliss again while three days you sharpened your dagger waking up to the sight of ian hovering over me, smiling like a buzzard mocking its pray unaware i'd been mislead our time together cut short by my request unable to bear the thought of you having moved on standing alone at the terminal side-by-side your hand reached over to cup mine turning i could see the tears welling up in your eyes your voice cracking now with apologies one final embrace your face buried into my chest as you sobbed your eyes opening shedding tears one final kiss feeling just like the first under the fall a decade has gone by i've sworn off love in hopes someday you'll return to reclaim what's yours now and forevermore even after all we've been through you still remain ~ fin ~