The Hardest Part

Drifting through these memories, it is torture, running through these veins. Not such a distant past, or so it seems, I should have known, it wouldn't last. Bittersweet feelings when I remember this. Tears won't do justice, pain is more than this, but never quite satisfying. Trying so hard, but never good enough. Forever young, but youth forever misplaced. Not lost, though exhausted. Kissing such a commodity goodbye, a surprised discontent. Difficulty breathing at times, stop to catch my breath, I am short of it. Spinning so uncontrollable. Consistent, it does not cease. Deliberation of internal monologue, who knew it would be resistant, my mind, in liberation. Release of adrenaline, persistent manipulation of guilt. Blame, a hidden secret, bouncing from one host to the next. It is somewhat like a disease, partially contagious. Free emotion consumes mind and body. Senses of flexibility prevails. I am fee. Please, don't let me slip away. Forever be.