The Call

The Call For as long as I can remember, I have been phoning my mom. Even before leaving home when I was a teenager. Whenever I had good or bad news, it was just natural for me to want to call my mom.  When I was sixteen, I worked at Bob Parr Shoes in Kitchener. I would call  up mom and talk about the day. I remember the manager Lou Gies asked me, “Do you call your mom every day?” I thought it was an odd question to ask because for me it seemed such a normal part of my day. This habit has carried on over the years and became even more important after I moved out west to be with my sweetie (28 years ago). For those of you who don’t know me well, “Sweetie” is my wife Mary. Mom and I have always had an easy way of talking to each other. I guess we just get each other’s humour. In 2012, my sweetie, mom and I traveled to Italy together. I am so glad we shared that time. The reason I bring it up is that at times my mom and I were laughing so much that I think my sweetie thought we were nuts. My mom has an irreverent humour that not everyone gets at first. As some might say, she was an “acquired taste”. Those who took the time to get to know her were richly rewarded. If you got to know my mom, you know what I am talking about.  When I started to write this piece, I was going to title it “O-B I T C H- uary”. Now you might think that is odd and I guess it is. Now for the record, I can honestly say the B word is not how I describe my mom. Her, on the other hand, she did so all the time. For those of you who are fans of Beyonce, she has an alter ego she calls “Sasha Fierce” she channels Sasha when she is on stage. I guess you could say Sasha Fierce is her inner Super Hero. Well in my moms case, maybe her inner Super Hero is Wonder-B. I think my mom used Wonder-B to help her navigate difficult waters. My mom who was kind, loving and generous was also abused at the hands of my father. I think Wonder-B helped give her the strength to finally leave that relationship. It’s her way of saying “Don’t mess with me!” Now don’t get me wrong, her inner B is tempered by a soft heart, a generous spirit, fierce loyalty and a great sense of humour. If you are inclined to laugh, hug, dance or play cards, mom was your gal. She certainly was mine. A big hole is left in my heart. Still I have so much to be thankful for. I love you mom, I’m thankful for you and I wish I could pick up the phone and call. Love Rick I have attached another piece I wrote after my step dad Bob passed away. Bob was the love of my mom’s life. Please indulge me by reading a bit longer Ashes Everywhere she went She sprinkled some ashes Leaving a part of him Releasing a bit more of her sadness lessening that ache as she celebrated him remembering his goodness I was not everywhere still I took part in the ritual releasing a bit of my own sadness As I remembered him I held back the tears Instead I let a smile cross my lips He had lived his life well His ashes were sprinkled in a family orchard at the base of a tree A place of great beauty Spectacular like his soul His ashes at the end of a dock on lake Okanagan Oh how he loved the beach Wishing to play along the waters edge like the big kid he was at heart But he'd never learnt how to swim Still his ashes floated with ease Now he has no limitations I left a bit of him on a sailboat So he can be carried to new places After all he loved to travel His ashes came with us to Italy In spirit he was part of our adventure I laughed when my mom told me She sprinkled him in the Vatican  She was gleeful My mom the rebel Playful and brave One of the many reasons he loved her so He was with us in Florence His essence there along ancient streets In vineyards and quaint villages We traveled to the Amalfi Coast Along winding roads More like a donkey path than a highway Mom in the backseat saying “Oh !” Not usually one to swear Bob's ashes in her pocket I don't know if she thought of him then Later she remembered their time in Greece  He was never far from her mind Somehow this ritual Made me smile It is now added to my memory Allowing me to be thankful for Bob For mom For two lives well lived For a love well loved A soulmate celebrated Appreciated and remembered! Oops just one more to share Favourite   Some words Need not be spoken Yet somehow I have always felt that I am your favourite I know others Feel the same way It's how you engage  The way you hear The playfulness in your voice The genuineness of your laugh Like I am the only one who matters In that slice of time I am your favourite You Yes you Are my Favourite One of a very special few My soul connected since before I was born For me your eyes are home Your hug my strength Your laugh my pleasure I am lifted by your clever  My heart sings in the midst of your generous I cry your tears I see myself in your mirror The parts of me I cherish sprung from your spirit Your words dance at the edges of me Permeate my inner being Centre me You  Yes you My very special one My favourite The one I love Who has blessed me so My special Very special Favourite Undefinable  Wonderful Mom I love you mom. My mom is known here as Mama Bear. She passed today with her family close by.