Sun

Sun. sun. sun. Shining brighter than the moon The very thing I have always hidden behind always longing to be as, bright as, shone as, loved as, longed for and exposed I let him touch me a couple of times before, but always went back to hiding behind the moon. She’s always felt safer the darkness around her and soft hue Always made my wounds feel at home the sun, warm, bright and masculine. Makes me feel like i’m on a cold disinfected examination table Cut wide open His love feels like being poked and prodded Left wide open At least with the moon, Darkness surrounds her holds her and makes her whole I get to hide in her darkness Be held and not exposed by her She doesn’t force my legs open Nor my heart or my soul But allows and accepts me as I am The sun does the same it’s just exposes everything It makes me squirm And seek for safety in isolation It longs for safety For it’s loving warmth cold hearts and misery and pain feel safer This feels scary Always an arms length away I say so his warm lips will stay away Until another rainy day But even then Push him away before He sees all of my stains From previous days I don’t know what to say to him, The sun I’ve been running for so long, that I don’t know how to live, breathe or move in the light. what does it look like? I just don’t know because living in darkness is easier.