Soultrain

The Soul-train was leaving the station, Believers were gathered on board. Their hands were all reaching for heaven, And happily praising the lord. But someone was left on the platform, A ticket-stub fell from his hands. He waved as the train was departing, As Jesus said strike up the band. The train rolled from station to station, A star-man looked down from above. Some Hindus were busy complaining, That one God is never enough. The clairvoyant spoke in a whisper, This supper it may be my last. A methodist minister kissed her, And said you're a pain in the ****. The passengers drunk with excitement, Were having a whale of a time. Cajoling and laughing and singing, While guzzling down gallons of wine. The Muslims were barracking bishops, The party was hitting its stride. A Cardinal minced with the choir, Who just came along for the ride. While paupers were wedged in the gangways, With other unfortunate souls. Their betters had cosy appartments, All furnished in leather and gold. The train climbed the stairway to heaven, Agnostics all cheered from below. St Peter was holding a sermon, And God was the star of the show. The clamour rose to a crescendo, With rumours that God would appear. The Pope stuck his head out the window, And said I believe that he's here. The saints held the hands of the sinners, While Gabriel was singing above. The train lurched across the horizon, Then crashed in the tunnel of love. The pearly gates took such a beating, Reporters descended in droves. The wreckage was charred and disfigured, As heaven began to explode. Old newspapers scattered in Eden, Said one day somebody will pay. While British rail made an announcement, To say that the train's been delayed.