Something Was Amiss

Poet's Notes

(Show)

Become a Premium Member and post notes and photos about your poem like Lin Lane.

I strolled upon the crests of darkened hills reveling at the fragrant aroma of daffodils Suddenly, stardust glittered in a nearby field Its enchanted power was amazingly revealed. A single sunflower towered at great height Shadowed orb wide open, unusual in the night Its leaves sparkled, but could a star cause this? An unlikely occurrence ~ something was amiss. Was I imagining the vision of this phenomena? Perhaps it was a heavenly sign from Andromeda The moon dipped lower in the cerulean sky as I watched the bloom with the cyclops eye. Had a mystical spell been cast over my mind? If so, it was a gift of the most wondrous kind I was enrapt by the aura of a sunflower in glory. Sadly, bereaved when no one believed my story.

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem.

Please Login to post a comment

Kim Rodrigues

Date: 1/30/2024 11:37:00 AM

Oh to see and then not believed!

Sara Etgen-Baker

Date: 1/29/2024 4:31:00 PM

I enjoyed this read...it seemed mystical and a little surreal in a lovely way. Your imagery and storytelling made this poem believable yet puzzling. Plus, I just liked it. Have a great evening, hugs, Sara

David Kavanagh

Date: 1/29/2024 11:17:00 AM

This is beautiful Lin and a little psychic perhaps, have you been looking through time, about 4.5 billion years from now we are going to merge with the andromeda galaxy, and this is the image we would see if standing in a field of sunflowers right at that moment, so I do believe your story, because it is predicted by cosmological physicists, but I am intrigued to know how you envisioned this moment, brilliant! Cheers David

Lin Lane
Date: 1/29/2024 12:58:00 PM

Clueless humans that we are...

David Kavanagh
Date: 1/29/2024 12:17:00 PM

Oh I see, but hey it takes absolutely nothing away from your poem, it is quite breathtaking in scope and perspective, The weird and almost incomprehensible thing about the merging is, 400 billion stars in each galaxy, and they reckon not one of them will collide, such is the vastness of space between them,

Lin Lane
Date: 1/29/2024 11:46:00 AM

Thank you for the compliments on these lines, David. Not psychic or looking through time. Looking at an article about the merging of the galaxies, which included the sunflower scenario. My vision was born through that supposedly impending union. Fascinating information.