Setting Myself Free

I still see your smile Though I haven't seen it in a while Now that I have I feel some type of way All it takes is a message one random day You been gone from my life for so long And now that you're here I doubt where I belong It wasn't a problem before Didn't think I cared anymore Yet now I find you constantly on my mind My own escape I cannot find Lost in these streets full of direction And for what…a little of your affection? Wondering if it's all worth the pain Knowing now nothing from it will I gain Yet still thoughts of you won't leave me alone No matter what I do to get them gone Those thoughts run as deep as the ocean blue But you still refuse to love me too I try and find peace in the beauty of the land Only to find it's you I don't understand What more can one person do I've done all I can to prove my love to you But just as hard as the bricks I used To protect a heart that had been so abused It may have been able to keep the pain away Yet still it's something I fight each and every day Trying to tell myself I get a little stronger with time Attempting to believe it's not just another rhyme I take a second look only to see That these words I write continue to remind me Of a love I use to own Night or day I could call you on the phone But then as the next song begins to play I feel a tear making its way Down my once dry cheek Once again when it comes to you I feel so weak Unsure what all this might mean Caught somewhere in between Holding on to all those feelings for you Or knowing that letting go is what I must do I sit out by the water to blow off some steam Watching as the water flows over the rocks and continues down stream For a moment I manage to find some peace Knowing that in time that feeling will cease It helps to escape my thoughts even for a short while With the sun shining bright I can't help but smile Reminding myself that one day I will find my way Even if I can't do it today I guess you could say that missing you Is something I've gotten rather used to Though some days are easier than another I find comfort in my mother Though she can't be here to help me get thru I remember what she once said about someone just like you You were just one chapter in my life And even if you didn’t make me your wife Someone someday will see what you never did in me In time I would find the man you couldn't be In my heart I know just what she would say And that helps me get thru another day Without your love…without you I know that like you I will be okay too But down the road you will find it is me you miss Every smile and every kiss But by the time you do I won't be there to come back to Of that much I can be sure Cuz a love that was once so pure Has been stained with pain Thoughts of you driving me insane My heart deserves better than that Late nights, sad songs, and there I sat For so long thinking back to what used to be Only to realize the truth was it was me I was the only keeping me here Because of you I was full of fear Afraid someone might do the same as you Terrified my heart would get broken by someone new And I'd be just as hurt as I was before But I can't live like that anymore I have to find a way to move on Your memories must be foregone It's becoming more clear what it is I must do Just had to find myself a new view To realize all the possibilities out there Had to take a step back and breath of fresh air To see all the things I let escape me But here and now I have set myself free Ready to give love another try And finally tell your memories goodbye Can't believe how much better I feel Never again my happiness will you steal My thoughts, my feelings, my mind and my heart All these things are ready for a new start For once in my life they all agree I finally set myself free!!!!