Scream

...The scene set...the curtains rise... ...sweat slowly falling increasing the intensity... ...scan the place, it's packed while the backstage is empty... ...1,2,3; slowly breathe...and I, I'm so close to collapsing close to collapsing and throwing up my lunch, melting and freezing simultaneously ...was it just a minute or a fever filled second... nervousness, paranoia, doubt and failure; the ravenous monsters in my essence clawing like wounded dogs on the ground safe inside the cage in my gut, kicking my butt ...Breathing in, letting out...close my eyes which suddenly burns like fire... and I just want to SCREAM! ! ! SCREAM about the parts that hurt most in my memory of all my perfect ghosts SCREAM for the millions feeling the same loneliness SCREAM to voice my hate, my personal loathe for everyday SCREAM so my love can find me soon, just to see the adoring look I'm giving SCREAM because I just want to or is it because the tears are burning my eyes, I'm hauntingly swearing at death in a low raspy breath Searching in the stars for my lost heart, pleading for my late brother to find me... pleading for my late brother to cure the hate devouring me... pleading for my late brother to derail me from my self destructive path pleading for my late brother to dry the tears blinding me to numb my voice till I...till I can't scream anymore ...the scene has set...the curtains close... ...soaked in sweat, the adrenaline slowed...I just want to go home...