Roadside Poetry

In my youth I was completely engrossed, By poetry along the byways nailed to a post! It wasn't composed by John Greenleaf Whittier; No, the authors were much more wittier! I speak of Burma Shave signs once all the craze, But can only be found in museums nowadays. I don't claim to own the wit of Nast or Nash, But here are some I might've composed if I may be so brash! If its a kiss from yer gal you crave But the stubble on yer mug she hates Better grab yerself a can of Burma Shave! When ol' Sarge says you're grown' too much stubble And threatens to nix yer weekend pass Slather yer mug with Burma Shave on the double! When you were interviewed for a host of jobs But weren't hired because of yer stubble Smother yer mug with Burma Shave in gobs! When you insist on takin' her out to dine But she says no caressin' yer 5-o'clock shadow Mow yer mug usin' Burma Shave and all will be fine! If it's yer handsome mug you want to save Plain ol' Lifebuoy soap won't do the job Use plenty of good ol' foamy Burma Shave! Let me tell you fellers about the latest rave If you want to impress your sweetie pie Use smooth and creamy Burma Shave!