Puzzled

I could Pick back up the pen and make you wonder where I've been, make you speculate the why and when, I had to start over again I've been gone too long it's true, my color turned a shade of blue Like I had some kind of flu I was just looking for the glue I picked up the pieces, that was a start to figure out my brain and understand my heart, every time I think I fixed it, it always seems to fall apart, I'm not too good with puzzles, Ive never been that smart How do you flee from a poison when you need it to live? How do you keep giving your best when you have no more best to give? Something that invades my mind When I clean it out to see what I will find.