Poetnumber1 Or the Baked Bean Competition

Now I don't know if you've heard Of the Baked Bean competition Where contestants eat as much as can In just twenty five minutes Up they lined ready to start To gobble up these dishes Standing by were huge black pots Ready to refill empty dishes There was Kieren the Fat A man of gargantous girth One would think he could eat a horse For dessert polish off a camel Then Lucy who rolled into her place As wide as she was tall Rumours said she ate her kids When out of food she ran Andre the Giant, a pig of a man Stood all of seven foot six His pants held up by shiny black belt With his flab hanging over that Next was Amelia, we all know her Shape as dainty as a brood sow Eats and eats and never full She'll be one hell of a contender Last of all, a ringer you might say A skinny runt of a man Who was this one trying to fool The one called Poetnumber1 The bowls were filled, ready to go As soon as signal given One last look up and down the line And the starter pistol was fired Kieren the Fat wasted no time Sucked down bowl after bowl And keeping pace one for one Was Lucy next to him Andre the Giant he too kept pace Matched them bowl for bowl But blow me down, an early lead Amelia was ahead by one But what is this, My eyes don't believe This Poetnumber1 Bowl after bowl goes down his throat He's leading by a mile Kieren the Fat is slowing down And so is Lucy too I think they called an end to them They managed to reach fifty two Andre the Giant he had enough His score was sixty one Amelia still going strong But Poetnumber1's out front At eighty eight Amelia stopped Gave one look and dropped Probably lay there for a week or two Before she'll finally wake But Poetnumber1 is still going strong He's reached one hundred and three The bell was rung, winner declared It was Poetnumber1 A sudden hush fell over crowd As gurgling sounds were heard A pained look on Poetnumber1's face And then the world exploded The smell so bad as you can imagine People screaming in fear And in the middle, with smile on face Stood Poetnumber1 I must admit, he was very polite He did say 'Pardon me' But by this time most had fainted Or screaming ran away