Open Minded Ike

Open minded Ike, who hailed from County Pike Inherited a classic Indian Motor Bike Being open minded and concerned it might offend He buried it in the land fill of South Bend Open minded Ike lived on the old family farm Being concerned with the climate change alarm He killed off all the cattle and hogs Keeping only a couple of sheep dogs Then since the farm lay fallow and lax Open minded Ike could no longer pay the tax The county came and took it away Open minded Ike still complains to this day Open minded Ike set out to get a job at the mill Two hours of paperwork they asked him to fill Despite two degrees from the university Open minded Ike got no job, he was of the wrong diversity Faced with having to live on the street And having no money to buy food to eat Open minded Ike was forced to live from the till Of his sister and her husband Bigoted Bill Now Bill owned a company that did heating and air They also made plumbing repairs Open minded Ike thought him an intolerant ox Bigoted Bill sometimes watched the vulgarians on Fox Open minded Ike seethed at the way his sister did mistreat At least once a week he was served red meat He finally exploded and screamed out his dismay The evening Bill grilled him a filet Open minded Ike stayed for over a year Thinking nothing of drinking Bigoted Bill’s beer He searched for jobs within his degrees None was quite right for Ike don’t you see So Bigoted Bill said to Ike in late summer I could really use a good plumber I’ll teach you the trade There’s money to be made Open minded Ike took offense at Bills offer Thinking Bill was quite the tosser Now it was around three months later When open minded Ike found Bill was a hater Bill came to Ike saying it’s time to move out on your own After all you are a man fully grown Open minded Ike threw his hands in the air Shook his head and shrugged in despair He would be most pleased to move out And get away from Bigoted Bill the lout Bigoted Bill gave Ike a used van Then stuffed his wallet with a couple of grand Open minded Ike was a man with no plan So, he headed for Cook County and his ex-wife Lou Ann Lou Ann was now married to a buffoon named Stan Open minded Ike saw Stan as a pitiful little man For Stan drove a bus for the CTA And went to church every Sunday Lou Ann and Stan had five in their clan Open minded Ike of children was no fan Lou Ann and Ike were only married a brief time Ike could not tolerate Lou Anne’s closed mind She could not except he had other loves in his life That he simply loved her the best, so he made her his wife Open minded Ike arrived on a Saturday morning He just drove up the drive having given no warning On the way there he’d hatched his plan He’d ask to camp out in his van at the home of Lou Ann and Stan Both Lou Ann and Stan found fault with Ike’s plan But Stan knew a man who had land where Ike could stay in his van His name was Bob He could also give Ike a job Now open-minded Ike didn’t feel this was right And he began to protest and fight Forcing Lou Ann and Stan to ask him to leave A despiteful act open minded Ike did believe So once again Ike set out in his van Cursing his fate of living in a close-minded land Now I’m not sure what verdict you find As this fateful tail did unwind I can only say there are few folks as ridiculous and blind As the folks proclaiming to have an open mind