Of Offices and Orifices

Sordid tales your eyebrows tell Insinuations start to sing Things we all know very well-- Say, did you miss my wedding ring? You’d do you worst right here and now A stealthy drink from your chalice Want me to forget the wedding vows, A mechanical bull with phallus? Pursing your lips, parading your hips All the while, I’m stifling quiet laughter As if your fries and shake could eclipse My seven course happily ever after! Coworkers of giant ego And undersized self-restraint Have fallen prey to your libido Flushed it all to taste your taint But see, here’s the baseline reality About my availability you’re mistaken Unless my wife’s nonexistent bisexuality You can magically awaken Sure, maybe you can be a roast turkey slice Between our marital sandwich bread Or our fresh sushi covered in rice-- I shouldn’t joke; now you’re being misled… But seriously, there’s nothing to discuss What you’re implying just ain’t happening Further coquetry is simply superfluous Back to the regularly scheduled programming And in closing, here’s what I’d do If you’re looking for lifestyle enhancement Instead of looking for married men to woo Perhaps try some legit career advancement. 5/1/16 © Thomas W. Quigley